Hellsaint88w88

Do NOT get into gardening. I swear to god, these dumb plants have my heart in a chokehold. I woke up at five in the morning, saw it was too cold out for my calla lilies, and so I got up and went into the cold, dark front yard of my ghetto ass house, no jacket, no shoes, no plan as to what I’d do if a crackhead attacked me, just to get this plant. Then I heated up some water and put it in the pot in hopes it’d warm it up a bit before realizing “Wait a damn minute, it’s a fucking plant. Why am I treating it like my kid or something?” :, D

One year for my birthday, my friend got me a very expensive pack of markers with a real nice case (pretty sure they were copic) and I cherished those things more than my own life. But my mom insisted I let my baby sister use them.
          
          She promptly destroyed the red, black, and pink ones. She also left several lying around without the caps on but I can’t remember which ones. And tore the bag they were in.
          
          Pretty sure that’s my villain origin story.
          
          I genuinely don’t trust anyone touching my stuff anymore. Literally any time someone is using something of mine, I’m hovering over their shoulder like a weirdo. To be fair, there’s other trauma in my life that could explain my inability to trust other people, but I choose to believe it was the copic incident, lol.

I hate Grammarly. I wrote “he was chained to something in the dark” Grammarly pops up and says to remove ‘to’ from that sentence. And I was like “??? Uh… Ok???” I removed it, then a new correction appeared telling me to at ‘to’ back to the sentence, meaning I was right the whole time.
          
          I hate this stupid app, but without it, I miss so many typos. I’d hire an editor/beta if I had money, but my job soft-fired me. (Meaning I never got a message, call, or letter saying I was fired, they just stopped putting me on the work schedule. It’s been several months now, so I guess I’m just fired.)

I’m just now realizing that whenever I am trying to get to know a new character, I usually rewrite their origins. Not because the original material is bad, although sometimes that’s the case, but because I don’t want to get the characters wrong. Knowing where someone comes from and how they got through the previous challenges of their life means you can more accurately apply them to other stories.
          
          Most of the time, I don’t even post the rewritten origins. They’re just left to rot in my drafts. All they were was testers.

Writing a story about a murderer, right? I explain to my sister “He gets into killing people by first killing animals like household pets”. And she says “But why?” “… Uh… Because that’s how lots of serial killers get into murdering people?” “But that’s gonna make readers hate him.” “… Yeah. That’s- That’s the point.”
          
          If the point was making a sympathetic murderer, I’d write about how his dad was abusive and he grew up in poverty and he has religious trauma and blah blah blah. But you aren’t supposed to sympathize with this guy. What’s more terrifying than someone who kills people just because he doesn’t feel empathy? Not because he was pushed there or wasn’t always like this or forced to, but because he’s a fucked up guy who likes hurting things weaker than he is. That’s what makes the story scary.

Hypothetical: You’re walking down a dark forest path in the dead of night. Every Creepypasta you can think of is stalking you. Which one do you think you’d be able to smell before you see them? Because you just KNOW some of those white boys smell RANK.
          
          You know that trope in the Creepypasta fandom where they all live in a house together? That must be the most horrible house to be in. You walk in and start taking poison damage from the smell. Since most Creepypastas are dudes, you just know they have a lawn chair for a couch, the fucking dollar store CRT TV is sitting on a pile of boxes, only like two of them have bed frames, and half of them are day-drunk/high.
          
          Sorry, that was a tangent. But yeah, I honestly feel like Jeff would smell the worst. What do you think?

I inherited this garden from my grandma when she died, so I don’t exactly know what all is planted here… And now that spring is on it’s way, that’s becoming very apparent-
          
          I took my cauliflower which was germinating inside and put it into a bigger pot outside. This pot was full of a strange, dead, rotting plant, so I pulled it out and planted my cauliflower. I also took a dying head of a chrysanthemum and buried it in the pot, I didn’t think it would work, but maybe it is because now some unknown plant is growing in my cauliflower and it doesn’t look like the weeds in my local area.
          
          There was another plant I thought was ugly (sorry grandma) so I started pulling it out, but realized it’d take fucking hours, so I gave up half way. Now there is a honeysuckle plant growing in the ugly plant?? I- I don’t even know how it got there-
          
          One of my chocolate sunflowers died. I don’t even know why, it was fine-ish one day (a little damaged but not nearly as some other plants in the garden). I had two in that pot, Charlie and Charlotte and I woke up one day and Charlotte was dead. I feel like a terrible plant parent-

I randomly decided to google if red sauce is ok for cats because my cat is a straight FIEND for red sauce. Any time I set something down that’s red sauce, I’ll turn around and look back and this cat has the white fur around his mouth and on his paws stained red.
          
          Just googled it and red sauce is apparently toxic to cats. The garlic and onion can give them anemia.
          
          How the hell am I gonna tell his cute little face that he can’t have red sauce anymore? :(

I’m so brainrotted for Marble Hornets. I’ve literally been unable to think about anything else. If there is anyone who’s been thinking about watching it but hasn’t, either because of how long it is or because you just put off watching most things for way too long (trust me, I know. I put off watching this for 15 years and I regret it), I suggest you go watch it.
          
          The quality and depth of characters increase every episode, every season. It’s the origins of Slenderman, back when he was scary and not just a meme. In the beginning, you can really tell it’s being made by a group of kids in the 2000s with a camera and a lot of free time, but as it goes on it becomes an incredible story about madness and possession and it’s has my brain in it’s grip and won’t let go, I can’t stop thinking about Hoodie and that one badass line in Entry #68, the brainrot is so bad send help-

I feel so bad that I haven’t posted anything recently. I’ve been trying hard to write, I wanted to post something yesterday for Valentine’s Day, but depression has me in a chokehold right now so it’s hard to want to do anything. Been slowly working through stories though. Just very slowly.