Hellsaint88w88

Guys, what should I do for pride month? We were supposed to go to a pride parade in my area, but now I guess we aren’t doing that and I’m not doing anything else this month, so…

I don’t understand how people struggle to have a variety of gender in their characters. If I’m writing something and I need a character to fill out the background or even making one up on the spot, I pull up a number generator 1-10. Odd numbers are male, even numbers are female, and exactly 5 is somewhere on the NB spectrum.
          
          Now, if I come up with a character concept, my brain autofills them as a woman. Then, if I realize I have too many female characters (which happens too often), I’ll just go through and re-roll a bunch of genders. Pretty simple.

Bro, why is being a functioning human so hard? I went to the library today and when I was checking out a book, I fumbled thrice in thirty seconds, it was brutal.
          
          Librarian: Checking out?
          Me: Yup. I didn’t bring my l- bring- lib- br- b- sorry. I didn’t bring my library card.
          Librarian: That’s ok. Are you over 18?
          Me (brain short circuiting): Uh- no. Wait, no, yes I am. Sorry.
          Librarian: And what’s your date of birth?
          Me (mentally beating myself up): Huh? My- uh, my- um… 11/29/06.
          Librarian: Alright, you’re all set, have a nice day.
          Me, with misery in my voice: Yeah, you too. (Trudges my stupid ass out the door.)

Growing up is realizing how crazy it was that your grandma and grandpa told you you couldn’t play Pokemon because it was satanic and a distraction from God, but neglect to tell you that they got together because they were both junkies who were hooked on sedatives and hallucinogens that only had kids in the first place because that’s what they’d do every day of the week; get blasted on horse tranquilizers and shrooms and screw around.
          
          Yeah, Pokemon is the distraction from God. Being gay is the most horrible sin. Yup, ok, sure, totally.

Wait, why is is ‘an airplane’ but ‘a helicopter’? I was typing “On the TV, a news broadcast was playing. It was a news anchor talking while footage from a helicopter played on the screen.”
          
          At first, I typed airplane instead of helicopter but then changed it and also the ‘an’ to an ‘a’ without thinking before realizing that it was weird. It just doesn’t sound right I guess??? Idk.

Watching people argue when you don’t have a horse in the race is unbelievably fun. I’ve been watching this back and forth video essay style argument of people who think Damian Wayne is a shitty character and the worst Robin and those who worship the ground the kid walks on.
          
          I just sit there metaphorically eating popcorn watching two grown ass men arguing about if this literal child from the worst ‘home’ imaginable is a tragically flawed character or literally the Antichrist.

Guys, I just had a stupid American moment. I just realized that Egypt is in Africa.
          
          Oh my fucking god, I’m so dumb. I have no idea where I thought it was, but I only discovered this because I needed a map to see what cities were closest to Cairo.
          
          To be fair!!! My school district didn’t teach geography. Well, they offered it as an elective, but it wasn’t part of our regular curriculum or required in any way. I genuinely couldn’t point out a good 98% of countries on a map if there was a gun to my head-

Bro, I write WAY too many female characters. Writing this book rn and the main character is a dude, but literally EVERY other important character is a woman. His sister, his mom, his apprentice, his rival, a super important side character, his enemy, and his other friend are all women. And a good handful of background characters are also women.
          
          I need a reverse bechdel test, lmao.

What I never understand is why people in movies get so mad at heroes when their family member dies in a disaster/villain attack. Why get mad at the guy in spandex who was too busy pulling twelve pre-schoolers from a collapsing building NOT the psychopath running around throwing bombs everywhere??
          
          I mean, I get being bitter. If it were me, I might make a snippy comment if I ever saw that hero again, but I can’t understand why you’d be more mad at the hero and not Mr. Crazy Bomb Guy.
          
          Civilian: MY BROTHER IS DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU!
          Hero: (Imposter Syndrome intensifies)
          Mr. Super-Evil-Bomb-Guy: Lol, yup, keep blaming that nineteen-year-old in a mask. The longer they’re struggling with that crazy complex you’re giving them, the more time I have to improve my Ultra Boom-Boom Overkill Bomb!

Can someone explain to me why I’m getting gender envy from Deadpool-?