heyitsdestiniee_

@Sam_Riggs I have read one of your books and I love it your a good writer

SamaraRiggs

@heyitsdestiniee_ Thank you so much :)
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satinsomnia

I'm fine now, I don't have any mental illnesses. But there are sometimes when I feel so low, so sad, that I actually want to cut myself. 
          
          I've scraped my wrists with a compass and the sharp edge of my ruler, many times. They don't leave any scars, thank god, but there are sometimes when cutting myself feels like that is the only way I'll ever be released, where I can actually feel good about myself, even if it is through pain. 
          
          The things is, I'm scared of hurting myself. Sure, I've pinched myself countless times and ran my nails over my bare skin to save scrapes, but I'm scared of the pain that cutting myself will bring. It's pathetic, i know, but . . . I don't know. 
          
          It's been three years since the suicide thing, three years of hell. Every day, I have to see the guy who I used to like, the guy who almost drove me to the point of suicide. I catch him staring at me, and it's so frustrating when I do it as well. I'm over him, I have been for a while, but why do I still look at him in secret? Why do I wear nice clothes and makeup, just to look good in front of him?
          
          I hope my shitty life gets better, or one of these days I will get a knife, lay in a bathtub and just end my life with skits around my throat and wrists.

satinsomnia

I read the latest chapter and I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who did something suicidal, all because of a guy. I love that message in the chapter, it made me cry, and, even though it's been years since the incident, thinking about it always makes me resort to cutting. I haven't in a few months, not real cuts, anyway, but yesterday, something happened in school, and I relapsed. This time I cut myself with a razor, and blood was trickling down my arm. It was horrifying, seeing my blood, but kind of relieving in a way. 
            I was home alone, so no one was there to witness me passing out. 
            There are sometimes when I feel so ashamed of myself, because all I can think about is ending my life, and how no one cares about me. My friends never know when I'm sad, they just assume that everything is fine or they ignore me. My parents, they're not strict, but they can be overbearing and oblivious. I know that my parents don't care about me because me, because when the suicide/bullying thing happened, they didn't check my wrists, not once. My year head did, the day after I posted the pictures in the group chat, but that was the last time anyone checked. Or cared.
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heyitsdestiniee_

@xxprettyxxmessxx read my newest chapter i think you might like it and it might help to let you know your not alone I'm always here and if you want i would love to be friends
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satinsomnia

On group chats, he sent hateful messages directed towards me, telling me to 'go to hell' and other obscenities that drove me to the edge. 
          
          I was 12, naïve and foolish enough to think that people would care about me if I pretended to slit my wrists. I pressed a knife to my wrist, took a picture and put it in the group chat, which consisted of about 10 people, my older sister included. 
          
          Everything went down hill from there. My 'friends' who were never there for me took screenshots of the picture and sent them to our year head. The next day, I was called by her, and soon I became a blubbering mess. All because of a stupid guy. 
          
          He wasn't even that good looking, to be honest. I guess I thought that if some one liked me, supposedly liked me, I should like them back. 
          
          And that's basically it. I had to shake hands with him, look him in the eyes and say sorry, and he had to do the same. He was crying, as well, which was a little scary. I wasn't. 
          
          I was empty inside. I had to go to a mental hospital every two months. All I did there was sulk and answer the therapist with one word answers. She was kind, but I hated it there.

satinsomnia

I was reading your book Suicidal Quotes and Self Harm Quotes, and I realised:
          This is me. 
          
          I'm a girl, and I have horrible mood swings. Like, one minute I'm happy and everything's fine, and the next minute I'm just filled with so much hate that I feel like I could just kill something. 
          
          A few years, I had depression, because I really liked, pretty much loved, this guy who I thought liked me back. It turns out he didn't.