okay

Everything has a reason behind it. even the ones which we wish weren't true, and the ones we can never learn to accept. 
          But then again, everything is brought to life, knowing that there will come an end someday. One cannot simply last forever. 
          Then again, I guess something's have a reason to last forever, perhaps they're meant to? 
          Every dream is first dragged down, torn and ripped apart, then known to come true. 
          Every best friend was supposed to be there for you through thick and thin, before you could learn to trust. 
          every flower was first a seed, then planted, then watered and then grown to become an even bigger flower, but then just fall to the ground and die. 
          Every storm started with drizzle, then thunder and lightning, then an even bigger thunderstorm - but a storm never lasted forever, did it? 
          This was the way that life seemed to be like a cycle, like someone was paddling the wheels of a bycicle, and it just never stopped. Eventually, of course the tyre would rip or something, but then we'd fill it up with air and continue riding it along. 
          This was the way life went, the struggles and the fear were all a part of getting through a goal and seeing if it's really worth it in the end. 
          But that doesn't mean that if a flower died, it'd mean that it wasn't worth it. if a flower died, it simply meant that it's time was done. 
          There is a difference. 

It's sad dealing with the fact that nothing lasted forever. That sometime you'll have to leave and wish for all the time you wasted. All the regrets you wish you could change.  That someday you wouldn't want to - but you'll need to leave everything behind. Like when every time, you'll almost always be leaving something behind. Either a friend, a boy, a memory, a dream, a lover or a even a complete stranger who you're deeply in love with.

I'm writing a story, 'Grace, Grace.' It is my fourth story, but the other three i haven't made visual to the public, but i am hoping to, soon. I'd appreciate it if you read it and perhaps send me some feedback in the comments below. Thank you, and hope you enjoy it!

Monday, 24th August 2015
          The Words.
          “It’s been a while since we last spoke,” he says, “I love you so much.” 
          Yeah, it’s been a long time since we last spoke, but even just those three words from him would make me fall for him all over again. 
          They ignore you and tell you that they are too busy, for about two weeks, but then after this period of time, they say, ‘I love you,’ and you fall for them all over again. Doesn’t matter if it’s been days, weeks, months or years. Even an ‘I love you’ text from your boyfriend in college, six years ago, could make you fall in love again. I could say that you fall in love with them, and the way they make you feel, the truth in their words, and the happiness from their presence; it makes you feel like home. They make you feel as if they really do love you, and it’s not fake. 
          So after the endless days facing their absence, you’re desperate for their answer. The secret to that, is that whenever you sleep to wake up seeing a text from them; it won’t happen, but the times you just go with the flow and forget how much you miss them and expect them  to come back; yes, that’s when they’ll remind you that they’re still there. 
          Text or face-face, their words seem equally true. No matter how many days they’ve left you hanging, one text of the pure truth can prove to you that you aren’t alone, and that they still care. Don’t give up hope just yet. Although, you’ll know, from heart and mind when it’s time to let go.

hello my fellow readers
          Sunday, 23rd August 2015
          The love everyday
          This may happen to most couples facing long distance relationships, but as well as people who – rather are impatient to wait until they meet their lover. 
          It’s like, you’re seeing them every day, and then you just stop. Not necessarily to your will or theirs, but it goes to God’s plan. Either schools change, a better job a few miles away, or they just haven’t been around you much. 
          So yea, it’s been a while since you last saw them, until one day, one coincidental, but special day (not of what you expected) boom! They’re there! You see them, and once you sense their presence, feel their love even from a distance, and smell that one fragrance you’ve known from the beginning that yes, it’s he/she who smells such striking as this. You feel so different, so loved, and so special. You realize that no one has ever made you felt like this, ever. You start feeling a vibe from that one person who makes you feel so important. 
          During your time away from the person, there would be times where you’d feel like giving up, losing hope and breaking up with them, just assuming the fact that they’re uninterested, or tired of being with you. But then again, just like that, they come right in front of you, showing that stunning smile like they feel it, and saying those three words, like they really, truly, certainly, most definitely mean it. Now tell me, how could anything fight that feeling?
          And even feeling the touch of their presence, you’ve fallen back deep in love with them. Yes, just like that.

hi hi
          Saturday, August 22nd 2015
          The book of love
          I’m sure each and every person has that one love, that one day, one page of the book of love, who they could love all over again, witness all again, and keep reading it a countless number of times. These feels you get from reading that one page; those feelings you wish you could sense again, and just fall back into the deep love you had fallen into. 
          So for the next few days, you’re still stuck on this one page, on the page where Romeo and Juliet finally reunite, the page that Quentin finally finds Margo, and the one page that Peeta kisses Katniss. You don’t know why you keep reading the page, but it just makes you feel good. The thought of seeing that true love exists, the example of love makes you feel happy. It just feels your heart with hope.
          As for the endless weeks and months not getting tired of that one page, one boy, like people say, ‘nothing lasts forever,’ neither does this. Eventually, life will ask you to flip this page and reach the next chapter. Life will tire you, bore you and make you cry, just asking you to flip the page. It’s just our minds tricking us. We’re stuck on one damn page, sobbing and sobbing, refusing to move on. Refusing to see Romeo and Juliet die, refusing to see Quentin leave Margo, and refusing to see Peeta forget Katniss. Refusing to face reality, when you’ve been blessed with so much love, so much hope, which has made you think that love’s all that, and life’s all that, but truly; it’s not.
          Sometime soon, you’ll be forced to turn the page. 
          Sorry.

Distance can do whatever the hell it wants to do, but it can never lessen the love i have for him.

40 days without my love. 
          My life has never felt this empty before. I haven't had a reason to smile for a several days. I haven't felt happy since when i felt, forty days ago. 
          you know, i wish i could go back to forty days back, be where he was, in front of him, giving him the necklace, looking into his eyes, almost touching the tip of his fingers and unknown of the horrible unbearable distance i'd have to cope with, forty days later. 
          Who knew? I' d be here and he'd be there. That's whats so great, also so scary about life; it's unpredictable. you never know whats going to happen. You never know who you're going to lose next, who you're going to fall in love with next, who's life you will bright up next, and who's dream YOU were responsible of fulfilling. But the scary parts also possible, unfortunately. Who knows? You might be the person to ruin someone's day, or break their leg, or break their heart. Life is so confusing. There are times where you just don't know. You don't know what to do, what to say, where to go, and then after you do find out, you'll ask yourself 'why?' a billion times, just to be sure.
          I never knew i'd be sitting here, with the calendar counting the number of days i have lived without seeing him and writing this on my laptop. I also never knew that i would have an incredibly amazing boy in my life who loves  me and respects me. 
          You just have to realize, that even if you're going through one of those, (uh oh where should i go what should i do what should i say-moments), don't worry, so am i, you're not alone. Just hang on and have hope, because I've seen miracles come true.

People ask me whether i'm okay. I say i am, when in reality, i'm the opposite.

I've realized something very important. After every thunderstorm, comes a day of sunshine.
          The storm can last a month and can damage many houses and separate families, ruin crops, many possibilities. But even after such a disastrous occurring can bring a ray of sunshine, as well as shower us with hope. 
          We are aware of the many horrible things which can happen and ruin the most memorable things in our lives. Whether it be a storm, break-up, friendship break-up, family problem, car accident, murder, loss of someone important, or loss of something important. but i think many people forget that after every struggle of walking up a mountain, the result is that next second, you find yourself at the very top of Mount Everest, screaming from the top of your lungs. After every horrible disaster, comes a beautiful rainbow. I think a lot of people need to know this because most of them just lose hope after one issue. I'd like to tell them, 'Stay strong, hold on, you can do this'. It may be hard and a very big struggle, but just be brave like killing a cockroach, just kill all the sadness and negativity from your life. 
          If that doesn't work, maybe it's not the problem which is bad. Maybe it's your perspective towards the problem. Try looking at the problem and solving it from another perspective. And just when you feel like there's no way, think again, 'There is always a way!'