Um 'I hate you' is actually good! But sometimes it gets a bit confusing and I had to read the paragraphs two times to understand if it's a flashback or... I don't know! You just have to put flashback in bold before writing the flashback. Your grammar is very good and the plot is interesting! You just have to tell us more about Cole, tell us who is that 'man in the shadows' and tell us more about what she had to live! The first chapters are kinda meh to write but it gives lots and lots of information! Reading it was enjoyable, fun and those jokes that you added are actually good so keep up the good work! Don't forget that writing should be something you enjoy to do and never write a chapter because readers want you to and it has been a week since u've published one and blah blah blah... Just do it because that day you are happy, you want to write or maybe you are sad so you wanna let it all out by writing down how you feel while the character's living it instead of you... Have a good night/day!