hi, ive never killed a reindeer with a spoon
but i have been captured by somali pirates,
escaped and traveled across the sahara desert with only a tin of soup to save me,
survived the bermuda triangle,
ive licked my elbow
and sneezed with my eyes open,
slammed a revolving door,
taught a penguin how to fly,
ended the song that never ends,
counted to infinity TWICE,
and,
i can make minute rice in 30 seconds
 inabit.