Ok soo idk who to vent/talk to bc most people I surround myself with don’t understand. But my sister just being curious (having no ill intentions with her questions) asked me do I ever get lonely since I don’t have a boyfriend? She also asked do I ever feel weird about having to always be around her and her husband. Like it hurt my feelings a bit, but I just lied and said no it doesn’t bother me. My cousin asked me yesterday do I even want a boyfriend, since I never have one. My other cousin said I wish my brother-n-law was single so you can have a boyfriend finally. My aunt once said I need to hurry up and find a boyfriend before I end up like my mom. (Who hasn’t been with anyone since I was a kid.) Like I really don’t know what people expect of me. Like I’m not pretty, funny, smart, skinny, a people person, or someone people gravitate towards. I’m never anyone’s first person, you know. I’ve never had a boyfriend bc boys just never like me, like something is really wrong with me. As of rn my mental health is ok, not bad but not that great either. So I’m feeling kinda low about myself, and sometimes I just start thinking so low about myself and then my mind just gets worse and darker. (OH AND THIS ISN’T FOR ATTENTION OR TO GET ANYONES SYMPATHY!! Just needed to type this all out bc it felt like a lot of negative things have been harboring inside my mind)
