this message may be offensive
i know nobody is going to answer, but i'm so sick of trying everytime. it's so stupid, but i remember last year how brutally i was pushed away from people i thought were my best friend, my sister. They left me alone without anybody to hold me not even a week before my birthday. I remember how i ate alone far from school ashamed to be alone. i was crying at lunch with a stupid candle in my left hand with a lighter at my left in front of a small muffin because i still wanted to celebrate my birthday. i remember how i prepared everything for my birthday, a big party and i had to go see my mom and tell her everything was cancel. and she asks me why and i couldn't even reply. i felt ashamed, i felt lonely. how do i even end up being alone. i'm so sick of trying and trying, having to go through your birthday alone with nobody even acknowledging you . i just feel so lonely. like nobody care about me. i really feel like this. it's so dumb. its so dumb how people can destroy you and leave you.
