Dezzy :)

Hello.
          
          Thanks for the follow.
          
          Do you mind checking my book and leaving a review?
          
          https://my.w.tt/IKlRDZsYKbb

No offense. I know everyone.has different breaking points. I just so happen.to have a pretty big one.  Mentally i break easily now. Physically i refuse to take pain meds even if i feel like someone is killing me. I experience multiple pains. And I dont complain unless its all at once. Even then I will only mention one thing thats hurting. 

I am not even going to lie. I was having leg cramps and told my friends. And this bitch goes i dont wanna hear it I run around this parking lot in the afternoon and.get foot cramps. Im sorry i wasnt talking to.you first off. Second.off you domt know.pain until you have dealt with back, chest, boob, vaginal, and.cysts on your ovaries. I had all that shit happen to me today and I dont do anything to inflict it. Yet she probably chose to play a sport that she does that willingly.. Not everyone gets an option to get pain. And add the mental pain amd stress. Bitch youre.foot cramps aint shit compared to.what others been through. Same.bitch in 3rd black butting in on a comversation she had no business in again. Damn 

I will just straight tell you. If I don't like you,I may end up being the meanest person you know. If I do like you, I may end up being one of the kindest people you know. If I trust you or Love you, you are gonna see a bit of all of me. The good, the bad, the emotional, the longing to be somewhere better than here, and definitely you would end up understanding why I do the things I do. I'm not selfish. I just can't stand ever having a friend who doesn't get me even though they've heard my background story over a thousand times. This is to my FTM friend. I didn't call you your dead name, first off. Second off, I was talking to myself. You've known me since elementary school and you know I don't discriminate or make others feel bad. And I always try to call people what they would like to be called. I disagree with the way teachers still call you your dead name. I myself cannot pronounce the new name.correctly. so I call you seb. Dont let a 8+ years friendship go because you think I called you your dead name. Thanks.
          

So here recently a few of my classmates have been rude and calling me ''babycakes." Its creepy. So today I told all of them to stop calling me that. And then they called me fat. And I said I'm not fat. Well I contradicted myself bc they said they dont like bigger girls. And I responded without thinking ''If you dont like bigger girls stop staring at me and looking at me. Fuck I know Im gorgeous. '' to which the b!tch behind me started repeating my words I whipped arounf and told her to stop talking about me. She said she wasn't and she was telling another girl what I said. So I told her to shut up I dont want my words in her stupud crap talking mouth. To which the teacher said nothing to me. Im glad she didnt. 

Good morning buds. How are ya?  Hope ya havin a good day. I was just chilling

Who else feels pure nostalgia when you hear the jessie theme or see a 3DS. Like bro......... I just feel like its going too fast.  I feel nostalgia when they decide to let kids not wear masks anymore at schools.... Ah good times. Certain smells make me in certain moods. Wood burning makes me calm. Fresh lumber (its weird) makes me happy. The smell of vinegar just makes me mad. Certain things make me feel déja vù. When i was little there was a place we went on fall equinox and camped. If i go back and was to see certain people. Id have deha vu even tho i never made contact with them. But lets be honest to the lord here.... Its all just a feeling. 

Im 15 years old. Act tough but in reality im a huge baby when it comes to emotions. I can handle gruesome horror but when it gets.down to it im scared of heights and have emotions. 

Interesting fact kiddos. We all gonna die sumday. Dont go rushin it. You only live once.

So likeeeee. I am currently paranoid as hell.