hpgirl11

@i_love_penguins I'd love to, and i'm glad you didn't take it too harshly. I think it was great, just wanted to help you with future writing! :D

i_love_penguins

Thank you for your comments! And thanks for being honest. I was kinda sad that so much is wrong with it, but it was like a spur of the moment story so. Thhanks for the criticism! could you look at the other two stories and critque those? I would absolutley adore you!!!