i don't know no more

1754 words is how many words I have for chapter five and I started the week off with 1500 something words and I’m pooped.
          
          My main problem is I don’t want it to be bad or cheesy  and I also don’t know what I want to do for the beginning half of the chapter so im stumped.
          
          Don’t worry I will continue trying to write it . The moment I get something to pop up in my head I’m gonna write it.
          
          Like last night when I was trying to sleep I once again got an idea for dialogue later in the chapter.
          
          I’m at the point where I’m thinking of everything else that’s going on in the chapter because I physically can’t think of any thing for the beginning of the chapter. I’m getting there very very slowly.

It’s like I know what to write but then it hits a certain time and I forget and physically can’t write anymore.

I got a tiny bit more down today . I swear I need to make like tomorrow completely dedicated to writing chapter 5.
          

Ok I kind of failed with writing today . Kind of because I wrote one sentence and that’s it.
          
          And I know my problem, I have no idea how to write action sequences lololol
          
          I’ll do what Jennette McCurdy does for her books . Write it down how it pops up in my head, read over it and then fix it 

I will probably start writing tomorrow after I build my cats cat tree or I’ll skim through the other chapters in book 4 just to put what I wrote in my mind once more .
          
          I have the memory of a walnut soooo I have to skim through 

I’m crying like someone actually died but they were real in my heart .
          
          I spent the last week reading the comics and rewatching the entire show just for them to die the worst way possible compared to their other deaths.

Yeah I fucking… I fucking hate that ending.
          
          I hate I had to watch that and a part of me hates that I watched the whole show just for that ending .
          
          That’s why I didn’t watch the last two episodes when i rewatched season 4 for the first time.

Season 4 is lowkey so weird like wtf is happening ToT

I have 13 episodes left of TUA to watch but watching season 3 and all the Five and Lila scenes where they’re together are tainted by what happens in season 4 

Watching the first episode sequence again is making me emotional