hunniclouds

Hello everyone! I'm back! I have been currently in and out of hospital treatments but i have offically turned 17! on the 8th of June so it was a while ago. I am back on wattpad with my new laptop to write more again and get back into getting my stories out, I will do my best to put more of my stuff out there :) thank you for all the supportive messages I've received <3

hunniclouds

Hello everyone! I'm back! I have been currently in and out of hospital treatments but i have offically turned 17! on the 8th of June so it was a while ago. I am back on wattpad with my new laptop to write more again and get back into getting my stories out, I will do my best to put more of my stuff out there :) thank you for all the supportive messages I've received <3

hunniclouds

Hello! I’m sorry I’ve been gone so much lately Wattpad has slipped my mind a lot pfft. Everything’s going really good, I changed my name and finally got my mom on my side of things slowly but surely. I’ll be busy this week because I have an anniversary coming up with my partner but all replies will be done today I promise!

hunniclouds

Hello everyone! Just a quick update that Wattpad and writing is going to become real difficult. There’s legal matters being held that I can’t exactly explain at the moment.. so much has been going on this month that it’s eating away at my creativity. My stories will most likely be not updated for a while more and rps may not be completely answered as fluently. My mental state is really low and last night was one of the worst nights for me to go through, I have a lot on my plate at the moment and I’m hoping y’all can understand ^^’ I promise I’ll come back. Until further notice if anyone’s worried and you have my Instagram message me there I’ll be there but as for writing I need a mental break. Thank you for reading if you did.. -Luka

hunniclouds

i doubt anyone will see this.. i dont think anyone really reads these.. but if you do.. hi there.. i guess this is a rant of some sort. lately ive not been me.. for those who dont know im luka.. and ive just been struggling with myself.. i appreciate all the messages of sweetness people sent when me and my partner were having issues.. but everythings better now.. its really just me.. i have been really low lately. i go to camp on the 12th and very excited but also very high on anxiety.. im so exhausted and very low on any insperation to do something.. i came out as trans to people but my depression has gotten so bad to a point where i only see myself as "(deadname)" because i cant get it out of my head that ill be anything else. Ive found myself being more "obedient" towards others and acting as if i cant think for myself, and im at a point where im not even sure i can anymore.. I lack so much of what i use to be now that the sadness is just eating away at everything i saw myself doing, my fights with people are just so intense that its starting to scare me ill actually lose these people. and im at a point where i question why i bother protecting people who dont care to protect me. Theres this demon thats moved in my mind so now i have a roomate, but when hes around im not me. when hes around im afraid to do anything in fear ill make him mad.. when hes around i dont want to move, draw, write, sing, play violin, answer my calls, make people laugh. when hes around i dont want to exist. and maybe its just me freaking myself out but i cant seem to relax for long enough to stop and breathe, my legs are getting worse and my anxiety is playing tricks on me.. im sorry ive given up on writing so much.. and im sorry for this rant.. i hope yall are well.. please forgive my selfish take away.. but im logging off for a while.. if anyone will care to notice i love yall very much.. 
          
          -Yours truly
          Luka

hunniclouds

Hey y’all! I’ve noticed recently I’ve been becoming less and less active on things and if you ever question it please know I’m not ignoring you or forgot you, mentally I’m not well and still very broken and rocky and physically my body is trying to crash from everything that’s happening. Being overwhelmed isn’t helping and ugh it’s a lot, if we have a roleplay going on it’s best to do so in my pms I reply better there. I’m very sorry for how slow I am and how much of a pity party I’ve been lately. I’ll be happy soon I promise! 
          
          -Love Luka

hunniclouds

قد تكون الرسالة مسيئة 
Currently in a very bad mind set if depression trigger warning ahead please don't read if you're sensitive to self harm and suicidal thoughts. 
          
          Today was one if the hardest days for me to understabd.. I fear I'm losing the one person I never wanted to let go.. But if they love someone else I want them to be happy .  But how is it that after swearing to never lie.. Never go.. And telling me constantly they weren't speaking to them anymore.. they lie about it.. I'm so lost and confused..
          
          I'm very disappointed in myself because I self harmed agaib.. I'm stuck in a bad state of mind in which I very much want to disappear and just not keep myself going because I'm so upset and just confused on what I did wrong.. I don't know what I did to make them go behind my back and speak so sexually.. lovingky.. And everything to them.. lie about us being broken up..i don't get it.. 
          
          my wrist is burning and I'm very disappointed in myself for falling so low once more.. I'm sorry for this.. My heart aches like all fucking hell.. I'll go..