hvnlydjsmn
stressing again and can't do anything about that
hvnlydjsmn
hvnlydjsmn
i think my mind is shifting goals
like talk พอแล้ว
at first it's like เมื่อก่อนเน้นการเรียน but now เหมือนเน้นเรื่องเงินไปแล้ว
fmy
hvnlydjsmn
when someone asks me, then after u get thru dis whats u gonna do? I can't answer it ฉันตอบไม่ได้ ฉันก็ไม่มีคำตอบนั้น
hvnlydjsmn
now im forcing to end this situations, and it get worse time by time cuz really it's based on my crazy decision just to get my parents happy:(
now i just rethink about my decision, is it really worth it?
hvnlydjsmn
i remembered those old times, me and myself got so much dream together
like learn new languages and be an expert in it, go to another country to learn their cultures, capture it and save it, that's what i dream as an innocent one, it's really not มุ่งเน้นเรื่องเงิน just really idealist dream and simple one
hvnlydjsmn
my nerves, my mind, my body, my feelings don't sync together
and the clock is ticking, the time getting wasted for nothing
hvnlydjsmn
try anything, new environment, making lists, pressure alot harder, motivating with anything, drink vitamins,
none of them work, idk what's wrong with me lately
hvnlydjsmn
after doing my thesis proposal defense, rasanya kek ya agak ringan, setelah melalui stress itu
it's not that bad, it's just my expectations that ghosted me every single day, and my cortisol went high because of that
yep, semoga tidak procrastinate berlebihan yh
hvnlydjsmn
after calculating my expenses just for my thesis
it is so frustrating yet so expensive
costs for ethics, for consumption during the seminar, for souvenirs respondents, for transportation costs for kadernya if there are any.
where do i get this money from tho, kayanya beneran harus ikat pinggang jajan merch sama wts deh buat tambah2an:')
gada funding samsek literally biaya mandiri loh ya, gini nih yg ga keliatan matanya sama dosen2 itu selalu neken2 terus ga pernah soothing ataupun apapun itu, beda sm dospemku sih oknum itu ytta aja deh, udah lost respect udahan malash
hvnlydjsmn
well moga aja banyak rejekinya ya, sekaligus kencang ikat pinggang dlu buat ikhtiar soal ini, moga aja diberikan lancar gitu aja deh
hvnlydjsmn
procrastinated so bad, idk what to do
my brain doesn't wanna
but my logic is telling me to move
my body doesn't synchronize with everything
hvnlydjsmn
keknya ak harus tes masalah mental deh, i think i have some kinda mental dysfunction
not gonna self diagnose tho, but i dunno when, where and how to get it diagnosed by professionals hmmm
hvnlydjsmn
i ALWAYS rant here bcos i think it's the safest place in social media to know about my problems cuz i got this acc for almost 10 years so yeah
hvnlydjsmn
it sucks whenever i tryna do and finish my thesis tho, i only had like 4-5 months to finish it
hvnlydjsmn
update hehe
nyobain bye bye fever plester dingin buat ngatasin tension type headache yg akhir2 ini sering kambuh melulu pas nulis tugas akhir WORKS sih zuzur
cuman kek ga murah di kantongg hikd, 1 nya bisa buat beli makan ayam geprek 1 porsi:')))
hvnlydjsmn
@hvnlydjsmn still had one more and that is my treasure in the fridge lmao. Will use it whenever my tth relapse again (cross fingers not gonna)
hvnlydjsmn
ak bisa gasi nitip booklist yg bakal aku baca wkwk banyak rekomendasi tp harus satu2 klo kek gini mah
hvnlydjsmn
kena writer block dan exhausted anxiety jd gabisa mikir jauh gara2 khawatir takut sesuatu yg ga pasti dan sebenarnya bisa aja dilewati tp ak terlalu nyaman dg zona amanku ini, padahal deadline sudah di depan mata, aku jadi merasa bersalah dan menyesal ga memulai secepatnya
what do i do now?
hvnlydjsmn
lebih ke, pikiranku penuh mikirin hal2 ga jelas kek apapun itu, sampai aku kelupaan apa itu karena ya distraksinya ada aja, terus pikiran sm tubuhku ga sinkron bgtt