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none of them even know what happened. only two of them do. one of them did it. he'll probably never admit it, and how he's out there with a decent life making friends. and they don't even know. and it's not like i want to tell that story, i just want one fucking person to myself. they claim to love me. do they know how much this expectation is fucking hurting me? i am falling apart. i can't be friends with someone who did that to me without losing my mind. but if that's what my love wants from me, i guess ill do it. id just look crazy otherwise. i probably already do. no one knows and no one would listen, and i can't lose her.