Freakseung

I have recently developed an obsession to own a leather prada tie. Costs £300 but my bday is coming up so maybe (jk 100% no lmaoooooo)

update again..
          
          she blocked me and is denying it, and fuck me i have scouts tn.
          
          I've been going through a panic attack all day and i had to get an extention on my history essay cuz of it <3
          
          I rlly need to get a better taste in friends.
          
          On another note though, I got 76% in math, 80% in computing and 92% in Arabic! Still waiting for the rest of my results :3

Very small update, 
          
          She joined the gc a few mins ago, theres no way im talking to her tho...
          
          Plus, i got only 21/32 on my science test oop-
          im still waiting for the rest of my resultsss

Another update, 
          
          Idk if i told you's but ive been waiting since jan for season 3 of xo kitty to release and when i told my friends abt it in a gc, A started getting annoyed abt it so i told her that i wont tell her abt anything im waiting for. So i went to pc O abt xo kitty cuz she also watches it, but then all of a sudden she sent a ss of smth A had said to every single one of my friends in another gc they made, it was "Alanna is being rude, shes pc O abt xo kitty" then A sent a message to me saying "the gc would be better without me" and yet again she waited till i read it then deleted it.
          
          
          
          I left the gc.
          
          She started talking abt me. 
          
          fuck her.

Update again,
          
          A literally told me that my trauma from being in a shooting, beaten by my dad and being SA'd by my brother, doesnt matter as much as her trauma from her dad going to work at 9am and coming back at 3pm bcs she didnt like it.
          
          also said that cuter groups like illit make her feel sick and are gross, also the concept of having a crush is gross, (fyi i stopped crushing on the jungwon boy a week ago), then i reminded her that shes the one with a crush and she ignored me for a couple hrs. 
          
          In the gc this morning she was spamming shit and the second me and O started talking, she left the gc then saying stuff like "you gays dont need me" in me and her private chat.
          
          Later on she texted me stuff saying "asians MEN are so hot" and i said "which type?", and she went "hm? i said asians..", she obviously doesnt know theres more than korea, japan and china bro, as an asian i was offended ngl. And she said smth like "koreans, is there more?" .... LIL BRO R U STUPID?! 
          
          She also aparently started stanning le sserafim (the only song she knows is spaghetti) and her bias is kazuha. she was also bullying garam.
          
          She also was bragging abt how she's gonna get enhypen albums bcs shes "stanned them for so long" (bitch. shut. the. fuck. up.) in 2 weeks, around my bday.
          
          idk if shes trying to raigbait me or what but i want to kms so badly, i cant even talk to anyone apart from O abt it....
          
          Like the difference between her and O is similar but insanely different,
          
          A makes me feel like shit and talks abt herself 100% of the time, and a new stan of a group for stanning the same groups as her and not having albums from the groups she stans..
          
          O makes me feel like i have an actual friend to talk to and someone that i can talk to abt kpop and my problems and makes me feel happy if she ever got an album or any merch.
          
          A annoys the actual shit out of me, its actually insane.
          
          </3

update cuz yous asked, 
          
          So td after skl O sent me a message telling me abt somethings that A had said:
          
          First, she was saying seungmins hot bcs of an edit she watched and no one reacted to it so she said "guys haha im not gay u dont have to be scared of me" like bro bsfr u said that right to me.
          
          second, (lwk made me laugh and feel sick at the same time), O was showing a moka edit to A and this is how the script went:
          
          A: at least im not gay
          O: its a joke
          A: you act like it
          O: i dunno what i am yet
          A: You're gay for Alanna (me)
          
          like bro being gay is not an insult.
          I told her that O told me abt it and she said she was kidding, but now shes ignoring me.
          My life is so fucked up~

guys i feel tireddd, 
          
          like for the past week, one of my friends (call her A bcs ill get confused) , the one who made me the bracelet, has been acting depressed, like A drew a pic of her crying behind a smiling post it or smth, she sends messages saying that she should khs bcs no one cares and waits till i read it then deletes it and says "oops", and sends dry ass messages.
          
           Also she started acting rlly homophobic & transphobic, she send messages saying ew when i said i used to crush on a girl, (she knows im bi), and when my other friend called a girl pretty, she said "ew r u gay?" with a sick emoji.
          
          Also called trans ppl scary, ugly, creeps and weird.
          
          She's pmo so badly istg i had a couple tests this morning and i couldnt focus bcs she sent me messages like "u dont need me" "you dont care abt me" all morning and when i said i do, she wouldnt listen, idk what tf she wants me to do atp.
          
          She also started copying my and our other friend (call her O bcs im gonna keep getting confused lolol) like a lot, A bought the same clothes as O and started wearing makeup like both of us even tho shes pretty already. Also started watching the same show as us and pretended to like it since 2020, its 12+ and she was like 7 and season 1 released in 2023 (xo kitty btww!), 
          
          Me and O were talking abt it and aparently ts has been going on for over 2 yrs, its honestly annoying and mentally draining bcs whenever i talk to O, A says that we dont care abt her like am i not supposed to talk to my friends??
          
          She also left our friend gc like 5 times td and is ignoring my texts.
          
          Sorry btw i needed to rant.

lwkkk i wrote the enhypen logo on the very corner of a piece of paper at scouts td and a girl came up to me and asked if i liked enha and i said yea and apparently her and another scout r also engenesss TT
          They're both also lgbtq+ aswelll, plus one of my friends made a bi flag bracelet for me tddd!
          My life feels rlly good lately and i feel kinda suspicious.

guys what age system do yous use, like do u use western, korean, based off religion, or others?
          My family lwk uses islamic birthdays and western but i use my islamic age so ig im 13, almost 14, in western yrs TT

pls help last night i had a dream abt kissing a girl and then i woke up in the middle of the night then had a dream abt hugging a boy 
          very random but i thought i might aswell share