Hey I read your story just right now and I want to share my feelings.
1. The story plot isn't clear. ( I'm not offending)
2. I think you should practice your grammar and the way of writing. ( Practice makes you perfect. Keep practicing)
3. The next thing is, you should have a theme or a fixed genre in your mind and go with the flow. (Never mix your genre together)
4. Explanation is important here. Exaggeration of the plot could lure the readers into 'that part of the world', (like you're in a story).
5. The characters must fit the ideal plot in a unique way. ( Try building a Character cheet sheet for each character in the story.)
6. You should have a written physical draft (write it in a paper and read it. If you felt it was a little wrong or you thought about changing it, Modify it like 3 times by correcting the draft.
5.discover, investigate and analyse more before writing.
6. Use Grammarly and notion. ( I swear it works and helps to improve your writing)
7. Go through @Anna_Hiwatari 's books She is a great example of making her stories addictive and enjoyable.
8.and of course, set a pinterest board of the genre you're writing (this is optional and keep up with your theme)
9. Don't make the writing boring to read.
10. Paragraph is more beautiful than sentences. Try widening the paragraphs.
11. Use more than 5 sentence rule for each paragraph.
12. Never rush. It can affect the story.
13. Try a different type of writing style.
I hope these tips will work. Man, I was exactly like you. I Wrote a story after fangirling an author and it was messed up. I even envy other authors' writing. Then I decided that I'll change myself and it really helped.
Please don't get offended, I'm helping you for good. I believe you'll write amazingly. ILYSM.
Yours faithfully,
@Burning_black_roses
