@Kiam38888888 hiii, so I just read it, and here is my honest opinion. *BTW I'm also a beginner writer so don't take any of these too seriously lol.
I really liked the plot you have going on here, but one thing I would say is that the pacing was a bit too fast for my liking. It seemed like Isaac already knew that Marcus was going to ask him to take care of his daughter, otherwise, why would he already have had the documents with him? And if he already knew, maybe we could get some background through flashbacks or something like that where he might say out his plan. Also, it would be great if we could see how close Isaac and Marcus were before the first scene, maybe in another flashback. If not it doesn't seem very responsive or convincing to us as the reader since we don't really know how close the two actually are. Maybe you could go that too. Overall this was really nice and I can't wait to see waht happens next. Just make sure to work on your pacing. Byeee
