SO TRUE!
Would u like a bag? No I'll just carry these 20 f**kin things on my head
I hate when cashiers ask "Is that everything?" Uh no Bitch, I'd also like all this invisible sh*t.
People who don't like bacon cannot be trusted, end of story.
Burger: $0.99 Salad: $5.99 And you wonder why everyone is fat.
Doesn't lol look like a drowning guy? I bet hes not laughing out loud now.
I wish I had parents like Dora. They let that bitch go everywhere.
There are 3 levels of pain. 1. Pain 2. Excruciating pain 3. Hitting your Big toe on something
I love going to a strangers wedding and yelling "Don't marry him, I still love you!"
It's not stealing, it's borrowing without the intention of returning.
There are only 2 things I really want in life: 1) Lose weight 2) Eat
When I was younger I used to draw the sun in the corner of the paper. ALWAYS.
MY DEFINITION OF A CLEAN ROOM: A clear path from the door to my bed...
Is it just me or do mirrors look really sexy?
"Would you like a table?" ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." Idiot