ifyouneedanyone

I really just wanna make out with someone rn

ifyouneedanyone

this message may be offensive 
I haven’t been okay for a while now and I can’t afford help. I’m just tired of waking up and feeling bored and worthless. I don’t even want to get out of fucking bed. That’s how horrible it is. The shaking. The fear. I’m tired. I’m tired. I’m tired. I’m tired. I’m tired. I’m tired. I’m tired. We’re tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. That’s all I ever am. 
          
          Overeating is gross. All I do is fucking eat and cry. Think. Think. Think. Think. It’s all I ever fucking do! I just want to vanish. I just want to find something. I need some purpose. It sucks. It hurts. I can’t describe this pain any better as of now but it’s excruciating. I’m tired.

IAGOMYLORD

I completely feel you. When I feel like that, worthless and ugly and weird and lonely and all I want is to vanish into thin air right that moment. Once it happened while I was walking back home after taking my sister to school in the morning, all of a sudden I felt like I cannot possibly take another step further, I wished so bad to just disappear right there. I didn't disappear and kept walking while crying and my heart and brain aching.  Now why I'm saying these I don't know, and I don't know how but it passes. On the other side I know it will happen again some time later maybe next day or maybe next week, once you pass what is ahead of you, those couple steps home, you prove you are worth existing even if you are hurt all over. At least that's what it makes me feel anyway. I wish there was a formula. But I guess, consciously or subconsciously, I feel like someone would miss me, would listened to me if I called or texted. Or I remember feeling good when I take my time to do things that make me feel relaxed and more carefree. I miss and seek the films or shows or books that make me feel good. I don't know if you like him or not, in an episode of Comedians in Car, Jim Carrey said this: "It doesn't take much to feel good about yourself." And i felt it in my bones. It was like the exact thing I needed to be reminded. And I realised I believe it as well, even though I also know I'll definitely  have those bad days again. So, I don't know if you care or not, I don't even know what I rambled but, here it is. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to know you're not alone. Ramble on, frend.
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