@iii_lc
Silent as the sea, yet within me raging waves crash against the walls of my heart, screaming in unheard silence, carrying a burden heavier than drowning. Every wave tells a story, every stillness a waiting. I appear calm as the horizon, but my depths teem with secrets. Do not be deceived by my silence, for in silence there is the clamor of one who has found no one to understand him.
I am still trying to recover from things I haven’t told anyone about, things hidden in a corner of my heart like old dust that cannot be seen but suffocates. I haven’t spoken about us not because I am not good at describing words, but because I cannot find anyone who can understand me. I play my part in life as if nothing happened, and inside me small explanations grow silently without sound or tears, and I convince myself that some pains are created to be borne alone, just as some wars are born.
I sat for a long time on that train trying to gather my scattered thoughts. I sat thinking, but nothing came together! I was becoming more and more scattered, lost more and more, and I couldn't gather my scattered thoughts. I closed my eyes to at least imagine! But imagining was much harder. I kept asking myself, what will happen after the moment I open my eyes? What will happen after I fall asleep and never wake up? Oh, the thoughts of the past and the fear of the future exhausted me. It was just a bullet that killed the past, distorted the present, and terrified me about the future!
