ilike_buttercream

Someone texted to me,  saying if I’m okay after not being active for one day. 
          
          They noticed? 
          Asking if I’m okay, nah man I’m not crying again in my bed every night, I’m in that stage where I just don’t want to even feel shit. I sound corny ass hell.
          
          How am I supposed to expose my vulnerability that i desperately want them to be my friend, my best friend, I can’t the last one destroyed everything I see in any relationship and to be honest, I hate her for that…..I can’t even make a friend without thinking I’m merely a floater friend and what’s worse? 
          
          They have other friends so can they stop pretending? I’m not your friend stop trying to approach me and be my friend out of pity bc I don’t want to go through that again, I have muted almost everyone I don’t want to know how everyone is moving on and changing their lives while I’m stuck crying and bitching over a person who destroyed how I view anyone. I know this is wrong yet I’m scared to even go through that again im not your friend 

I’m gonna treat this account as something I a vent or talk because ay man I ain’t doing too good imma be real. 
          
          I’m 19, I graduated and I have no passion about anything I’m talking, don’t wanna be a lawyer, a therapist, a doctor or anything like that. I’m struggling with my family, and with all of these ICE agents up in everyone’s ass I’m stuck. I’m a US citizen and my family isn’t and I’m scared as shit they might capture them. 
          But right now for me  dude I can’t, I’m saying things i shouldn’t say to myself and im fully aware of myself mental health fully! 
          
          Right now I’m seeing everyone I know in highschool automatically know what they want, what they will do what their plans are, and me? I’m stuck, scared and no clue what to do in my life, it’s been like this ever since I got out of elementary school. I’ll give you one thing that I like and what I want to do 
          
          Get money, travel and help my parents. That’s literally it….
          
          My head is filled with thoughts I don’t even want to think about I’m not like this I was happy and I still am, I think I’m just stress and scared abt my future, if not that’s okay saves me the time no? 
          
          I’m writing this here bc hey no one’s gonna see this, not many anyways and I like that 
          But everything hurts, I feel like I’m on my knees crying, ripping my hair trying to beg to something in this world to guide me or make every worry stop feeling louder. 
          
          I don’t know, I’m gonna keep repeating that every time 

I saw one Sherlock edit and I’m already rewatching the entire show and coming back to wattpad. I kinda miss all of my favorite writers but I wanna mention….what kinda of writers were on, bc they were cooking SO GOOD on those books…like let me glaze 

I feel old, and yet I'm young 
          The fuck

E

Ranboo my beloved

I have been dead and just go into wattpad to just say thing to post a message AND I THINK IM BACK and I have a lot of shit to read 

Technoblade my beloved 

Ur techno reading is ✨

I heard that a famous dream smp is out and it's called "flowers from 1970" uhm I'm read it and see what it is about