@im_on_mydeathbed
don't fret
don't cry
don't be sad
don't bleed out
don't you ever regret
make it right
but most importantly
don't go to waste
aaaahh I'm just upset and frustrated dw
fuck it fuck fuck fuck I'm so fucking frustrated
I feel like ripping my hair out i feel like throwing myself into a tub of ice cold water and probably let myself bleed dry too
yeah definitely that one
an idea is the biggest parasite a human mind and body can be infected with
but that's only if you use your mind obviously
but yeah a lot of things lots of possibilities and lots of realities can arise from a single basic idea
and I'm done caring about people yk? like everyone I know
I'm not caring again, not caring about the wrong sort of people
everyone I know is so basic, they can be best defined as the products of society 's little lab experiments yk, successful lab rats they are
and then theres the defected ones like me, failures of the society's 'oh so original famous yet not' experiment
I hope i can find people who help me grow into the person I want to be
although I do admit it's too much to ask for tho
I have a dream
so just what must I do?
what's the safest most plausible thing to do? when my dreams are just about the most implausible ever dreamt
and genuine question why can't I dream? why do I so rarely dream? is there anything wrong with sub consciousness? sure hope not
wtf is up w this reality? why am I living in someone else's dream cherishing in their accomplishments when I have none of mine ? why did I confuse their reality with mine? no matter how much I wish to break free from the delusions? its the society's programming ain't it
the society is fucking programmed for fucks sake
why can't you see it? oh because they marred your eyes with their top notch pure shit
and why the fuck can't you change? cos you haven't tried. all youve done is think and think how good it would be not to be bound by their chains but you've never fucking acted on your dreams
you just dream and dreams don't come true on their own
you know what my biggest fear is too?
having people see me the way I see them
tasteless useless pile of trash, a pitiful excuse of space, a cast made of just meat cos somebody forgot to add in the most important component aka soul yk
its not that souls don't exist we just don't have it
on a dkfferent note science is fun science seems promising I don't wanna stray away from the path of science , of that much I'm sure
its probably the only arena I can make myself useful
irdk i gotta chill probably
its spooky the amount of time i have left to do my own shit, i mean my and your life didnt even start yet ykwim?
I'm a fucking failure
i do fucking hate my life tho and all this is bullshit and i dont fucking want to care
so basically my life is going downhill and i hate everything in my life
Catherine the great we met by fate
But you were too young
And i was too late
You locked me up
Cos you grew to hate me
Now i can see why
They all called me crazy to love you
Don't fucking read this.
When all u have is honest caring about some assholes who don't even consider u as a friend it brings bad luck bad mental health and fucking bullshit dramas inside ur head. I hate you. I really fucking do. Pls do me a favour and leave me tf alone, cos I'm better off alone. I'll fucking survive, even if i don't it doesn't fucking matter cos i do not fucking matter. And that's alright with me. Nihlism. Nihlism yeah nihlism good. I hate everything i only like me yeah just me.
Its sort of adorable how i literally never get off Wattpad, its literally my safe haven, i just wish i could make some friends here :')