baby jayy

AND MY BF WHO ISN’T MY BF BUT MIGHT BE MY BF his name is Aldo <33. 
          jokes to the bitch who talks to him in first period cant talk to him no more bc i said so. ugly fucking bitch. i swear her voice is so fuckin childish she sounds like a lil girl or doll like bitch u don’t know how many times i’ve heard her talking to ma man ma man all those times made me want to pop her ass. i used to be friends w her last semester but i dropped her cs she js wanted math answers. fuck her. 
          but like i said im so in love sooo in love. idk what im doing up at 4am when i have inservice. i woke up at 2am then went back to sleep & woke up when my mom got ready for work so im still up n might go back to sleep. but something that gives me a red flag about aldo is he barely texts me back idk if he’s working or js sleeps lmfaoao or idkkk i don’t wanna think the unthinkable ykyk. so yea well ima go back to sleep n my little brother js caught me so gn/morning ish.

i mean if he were playing me he would’ve left like earlier yk but i hope he isn’t like playing w me cs i would’ve gotten sad bro. but when we were talking when he said he was gone get me sum he was literally planning s future for us ahhh for next year “if we were still together i’d get you something” damnn okay daddy planning out our future. GUYS I THINK I AM A BAD KISSER I MEAN I STILL LEFT HIM SPEECHLESS SO THAT’S GOOD HEHE. but like i said this is all new to me so im happy my crush turned out to be my first kiss ahhh. but idk if im trippin when he said “one last time” *he kisses me* thought that was gone be our last kiss if yk what im trying to say thought he was js playing me like ugh its hard to explain. thought he was playing w me for the day. but hope he wants to be my bf. GIRLLSSS I WAS TURNED TF ON OR IT WAS JS BUTTERFLIES IN MY STOMACH WHEN WE KISSED. WE KISSED LIKE 5 TIMES. like damn baby. thought he was not gone show up but he did. i mean if he didn’t wanna get to know he would’ve not have showed but since he might be catching feelings for me he came. i mean when school ended i asked my brother if he’d be mad if i dated my crush he said “no” forgot to mention my brother knows my crush cs of last year. im so happy & in love. pt 4

so then anyways i kinda got weird out cs it was my first kiss n i was kinda complaining that i didn’t know how to but when he pulled away he was like “damnn” ahhh broo. so he was gone say sum “sooo….. come here” *smooches me* like damnnn. shit turned me tf onnn. (me re pulling up the recording cs i forgot) then he brought up my brother saying “you think alberto won’t get mad” n i said no. he literally girllsss was gone get me something but he didn’t know what to get me but its fine lol he might get me something for my birthday on sundayy yurrrr. BROO when i told him “you make me nervous “ he said “you don’t gotta be nervous around me” like ahhhh okayy. i had my friends be around there n when me n him were gonna go to our spot they were there n i pretended that i didn’t know them. but when they peeped their head i told him i did knew them lmfaoao n he didn’t mind so damnn. n he liked my painted hot pink nails :ppp. 
          so yesterday too my grandma gave me the lecture of “do u wanna have a bf” n i lied to her… n i told him that my grandma asked me that n he told me “yk lying is bad” n i smiled cs idkkk lmfaoao. N THE FACT THAT HE WOULD CHUCKLE MOST OF THE TIME OF US TALKING OOO. but bro he wanted to leave like bro cmon now fuck ur hmb u talking to me. n i was being ah bitch he asked “what time is it” i told em “12:47” he said “can i leave at 12:50 cs ion want my friend to be alone” mfk idgaff about ur friend it’s valentines day spend it w me bro tf. i mean i didn’t tell em all dat pero i would’ve lmfaoao.
          n i scooted so he could yk side hug me n mfk patted me on the shoulder when he was hugging me like boy u did not js do that it turned me tf offfff. when he hugged me bro he said “i never had a moment like this” so happy i changed that for him ever since 6th grade like okayyy purr got him like dat. 
          then he said “ima go okay. nice seeing you” (my dumbass stood quiet but js said k) “one last time” *he kisses me * damnnn ahhh
          

so ima tell u how it all went down (yuhh) 
          so basically i drew my crush a batman thing n i made a lil heart with “will u be my valentine” written on it along with “i like you” 
          so i was second guessing on giving it to him cs i thought he’d be the type of person to reject girls but yall he a sweetheart ahh.
          so anyways alsoo yesterday i got his snap and we js been texting. he was saying “wouldn’t it be weird cs im cool w your brother” n i legit told him who cares tf he’d say yk n he said “damn” lmfaoao n right there in that moment i thought he was gone say naw im not gone do ur brother like that. thank god he didn’t say shit like that.
          so anyways forgot to tell yall when i asked him i also recorded it hehee.
          so i asked him if he was down to talk by the stairs n he did.
          so we talked got to know each other a bit. and he told me he gone transfer to the other school (west) bc he got more friends there n his sister goes there. me & him are in ELL classes so yea. 
          but i got a lil sad that he will but it’s okay. sum that turned me on was that he was also down to get to know me more heheheh.
          so okay how it went down was i asked him “can i give u a kiss on da cheek” cs i js wanted to ;) n he said yea. n sum that got him feeling awkward was when i wanted him to scoot by me. BRO THANK GOD WE DID CS IF I SCOOTED BY HIM THE CAMERA WAS GONE SEE US LMFAOAO 
          but when i kissed him on the cheek he asked me “can i give u a kiss here (lips) i said “if u want to” SO MFK DID AHHH
          he was surprised cs he hasn’t kissed nb ever since 6th grade uhh idk if i believe him but wtv lmfaooa.

hey mlsss so yk yk yesterday was valentine’s day & wellllll I HAD MY FIRST KISS YAYY. so uh long story short i’m over Maks bc like in september i confessed to him that i like him n before i asked my friend who is friends w him she said he is single. so i took my chances on confessing to him N DA MFK TOLD ME “oh i have a gf” like boy gtfo. n don’t worry ladies i have the whole convo audio recorded hehe. but screw him tf. 
          soo basically i had my first kiss yesterday pt 1.

GUYS IM A SIMP FOR EVAN PETERS
          MFK FINE ASF. AND NOOO SAYING THIS BC HE PLAYED JEFFERY DAHMER. 
          EVAN PETERS IS THE MOST HOTTEST ACTOR BRO I SWEAR I CAN HAVE THAT MFK KIDS ANYDAY.
          I AM IN LOVE W HIM.
          I LOVE EVAN PETERS
          I LOVE EVAN PETERS
          I LOVE EVAN PETERS
          I LOVE EVAN PETERS
          SOWIEJEJEKEOWOF ♡

my bæ who was my bæ but i can't get over my bæ seen my story n im screaming.
          i deleted it btw *rolls eyes* *heart eyes*

hey. so yesterday or should i say a couple of hours ago was homecoming n i didn't go :D. bc 1. i didn't have money
          2. i didn't know what i was gonna wear
          3. i didn't know what friends i was gone go w so that sucks.
          n earlier i was having a mental break down(while listening to billie). like during the week i was deciding on whether to go or not but i didn't end up going.
          the dude i can't get outta my head *cough cough* maks went n i didn't know he was going n i seen his post on snap of him recording himself singing a song. n js letting yall know the homecoming place was literally in front of my house. idk if i told you i live in front of my schools soccer field i do, anyways. so for the rest of the night i stood downstairs n like i said wished i planned sum w sb but ig not ;(
          so anyways i rechecked snap n i seen maks post sum else n it was a girl in a orange filter n it pissed me off. idk if i trippin but i think she or he posted the photo to make me jealous or idk. idk if maks knows we have each other on snapchat. n idk if i told yall that i have a priv story of js him in it n earlier like at 7pm i posted a post saying "fuck you n yo mama if you at homecoming" n he still hasn't seen it. later on in the morning if he sees it ima delete it like i said he is none caring person in my eyes lmfaoao but ig he might js look at it n move on w his day or wtv.
          but i swear if maks is dating a blonde white bitch ima slap him n his bitch bro i swear
          anyways bye.
          

other part from last post**
          *forgot to mention i called my aunt during lunch period td*
          so when i asked my aunt if we could hang out tmr she told me y n everything n she said that why didn't i ask her for money n all n i js stood quiet. she was asking me if my mom was gonna let me go n i told her she would let me. n i js told her all the things i was feeling. n idk when i was walking to my next period w my friends they js looked at each other n back at me weird i felt like embarrassed n lost like wha da hell. n at that moment i felt left out in some type of way yk. i js hate it when im in a 3 duo situation with my friends n I AM ALWAYS THE ONE WHO GETS LEFT OUT LIKE WHY DO I ALWAYS GET PUT IN THIS POSITION LIKE I DON'T DESERVE THIS I'M A FUN PERSON TO BE AROUND. UGHH NOW IM CRYING WHILE WRITING THIS CAPS PART. i js wish i was diferent like my personality everything about me. i js wish i could disappear. i js hate when i don't match people's energy or they dont match mine either. like wtf. before every schoolyear i tell myself you gotta change a bit about yourself to fit in but ig i js don't listen or idk bro. sometimes i wish i would change school seeing if anything would be different bc I DON'T DESERVE ANY OF THIS NEGATIVE BOGUS ASS SHIT. IM A NICE PERSON TO BE AROUND WITH. I JS MISS MY BEST FRIEND LIKE WHY DID YOU HAVE TO MOVE. I REALLY AM HAPPY FOR YOU ML BUT WHY MOVE WHEN I REALLY NEEDED YOU IM AT MY LOWEST RN

but idk if those feelings for him have disappeared yet bro ugh. but um tomorrow is the homecoming dance n i'm not going ;D. bc 
          1. i didn't have money for the ticket
          2. i didn't have a dress
          3. i didn't know who i was gonna go w (talking bout friends)
          okay look i didn't wanna ask my mom bc she was gone be a bitch n say no anyways. n also bc i js didn't have a dress. like literally 2 days before i was thinking bout going and i was saying to myself im not gone wear the same dress i wore for my 8th grade dance n also from my brothers graduation. so i was like fuck it. ima js wear a nice shirt n jeans wtv. but i was having second thoughts bc mostly all the girls were talking about dresses n shit n i wanted to be a part of that convo yk. n so i told my teacher that i rely on so much n i love her to death. she literally told us in class that students would ask teachers for money when it came to homecoming n da teachers would. n i asked my teacher if she can let the other teachers know too. n she told me that she told the principal n she asked me if he emailed me and i said no n at that time i was making my decision of not going anymore bc like wtv fuck that shit. but when i was talking to my friends they said that there was two options for the people who were going to the dance. it wasn't js gone be a dance. the cafeteria was gonna be the dance thing yk. n the courtyard was going to have games, machanical bull, photo booth, jumpy houses n other things n i js felt bad for not going this year. n i called my aunt during lunch td n asked her if we could hang out tmr n she told me she was having a gathering some type of shit *rolls eyes* n i js got mad bc i literally was gonna cry in front of my 2 friends (writing this is giving me 7th grade flashbacks) i js got a little upset.