Cheyanne Marie

Hug all your friends is stuck in my gead and it really hurts because i have no friends to hug :( the only 4 aren't really available, I get kinda hugs from one at church, 2 live in other little towns, and one moved away so I can't get my favorite cuddly hugs from her now :(

It's only the second day of eschool and I'm numb already. I just really can't deal with everything and seriously my 'friends' can't even give me the ONE PERSON i want to talk to AND HAVENT SINCE I GOT SICK's number! Like I have to have 10 pictures of people eschooling and at their job FROM SCHOOL for yearbook and I'M NOT SOCIAL  and everyone I contacted don't care to help. I can't make a 'new friend' til I go back to school in 2 weeks and I honestly just wanted to be able to talk to someone. None of my fRiEnDs cared enough when I was sick and they're all too short attention spanned to listen to me being happy about something or saying I miss my frickin uncle or anything like that. God, I'm tired. Why did you do this to me?  No one talks to me except 2 people who I know from childhood and the other I have to text first. I honestly feel like my heart is slowly cracking from everything going on. I'm tired and miss my friend who gave me hugs and called me baby but she moved so guess what I can't talk to her I hate being like this I'm so clingy and annoying n I think my friend finally realized that when she told me to find nother person to rant to. I hate this and I really feel worthless right now and my sweet autistic little sister can't even make me feel better by syin she's always there. I need someone to talk to but I really have no one right now I guess. 

Yesterday was my birfay n it was honestly the best birthday I could ever have :< I didn't get lots of friends over but Friday n Saturday we was at the mountains wif my friend n mined gems and me n her talked n had fun and my mama gabe me a peridot necklace from the gem mine at dinner that night.  Saturday we went to this antique mall in Franklin and it was so cool, it used to be a school n all the rooms were named after a school room(library, gymnasium, kindergarten, music) and we went to goodwill before that n my friend got this adora Bella doll that's Marie Osmond that looks haunted (she stuck it in a drawer with a bible n said 'the ghosties can come to my house but they ain't hauntin Me) and we went to a flea market an I got dolls n earrings *the lady gave me a free scrunchie* and then I got this dress there and we went to DQ on the way home. Yesterday we went to Barnes n noble and I got calico critters and a Jimin doll*he was on sale I still hate his and Yoongis faces so much but now they live together* and we went to the mall n I got baf n body work stuff from my daddy/dad n sisters and we got cheesecake from cheesecake factory :> it was honestly so fun n nobody on here knows how crazy I am for barbies and stuff but like it really was awesome the whole weekend, at the antique ship I got this 2000 Kelly doll that was a collector's goldilocks with baby bear n I love her so much :) I even got nightgowns which I've been begging for for the past few years! This is so long n no ones gonna read it but I rlly had the best birthday it didn't even feel real! Oh n I got a bunny that's an angel from goodwill n he makes me think of my friend n my nicknames and he's so cute his eyes look like real bunny eyes buy he's porcelain. (i think) ok I'm done wif dis but yall really you had to be there it was so fun this weekend n sure my sister's fought n occasionally called me a bitch but at least I got time wif my family :<

I am mentally and physically drained. I'm not gonna ever speak my opinion again because it's just wrong and what I think is not gonna be what everyone else wants. I'm so tired, I have a headache(thank you God for giving us periods -_-) and I really did not wanna get in a fight over the protests. I just answered a question, what my opinion is on the riots and protests but I guess thinking that rioting during COVID19 is wrong and stealing from people who don't deserve it is also wrong. I also guess i have 'priviledge' even tho no one's ever treated me like it? I don't have an opinion. I wanna cry because why does everyone think I'm trying to bite off their heads? I'm so frustrated I'll probably have another seizure episode but I just am so done. I can't speak about turning the tv down when my dad can't hear what my sister is saying, so I'm "biting everyone's heads off" and on the verge of crying. I feel so numb. Why can't my beliefs ever be right? Seriously, what next I can't be a female and the world wants me to mystically turn into a unicorn or something? I'm going to eat my muddy buddys good bye now. 

Honestly these riots and protests are getting out of hand. Yes black lives matter but it's not for that cause when people are getting killed and are hurt from this! Those cops are being prosecuted so justice has been served, what happened to George Floyd never should have happened but when my mom has to be worried and has to take my sister home because there's a protest going to happen where they are it's a problem. We should not have to be worried about being hurt for being white should we? George has got his justice and everyone is right that black lives matter, but we have not been racist at all, it was the cops! The people who were killed/harmed in the riots and things,their lives matter too. I just wish everyone would calm down because I don't like bein scared for my mama and sister in a place that's ALWAYS been safe for me. All people's  lives matter, black, white, Asian, indian, Hawaiian, it doesn't matter your skin color you deserve to live. Sorry for ranting I'm just very scared and irritated and tired over this. 

@the-spawn-of-satan lol it's ok 

@the-spawn-of-satan ye welcome :>

So I'm confused? I had 3 stories I was reading offline earlier today n then I reopen the app and boom it's 2 out of 2 now? Like how is that possible? Maybe it's a glitch in my phone but Wattpad just needs to stop or I will hurt someone and I'm not even joking since the new updates it's been so slow showing my stories and then it decided it would reorganize it by title like no that isn't how I want it DoOd sToP HurTinG mE

Can Wattpad kindly fuck off and unupdate itself? Im tired of it saying that the ReAdErS bEEn uPdAtED and closing me out of stories, or saying OoPS! ThIs sToRy iSnT aVaiLiAbLe oFflIne! Or saying YouVE ReAChEd YoUr oFfLiNe lImiT no fuck u  I used to be able to read any story I wanted to on or offline and I'm not fucking offline I'm fucking on my Wi-Fi n data so mmmmm I think the frIcK not can they seriously go back to when they didn't show me all these straight stories and actually recommended good yoonmin n taekook stuff bc I can't find stuff unless I go thru authors profiles now or my friend and I'm d o n e im about to quit except for the fact I have friends on here and a few good stories I need to finish before it dElEtEs AlL THe GoOd AuThOrs sorry I don't normally do this I'm just hhjjjhhhhshshs and with the virus and school stuff I'm just so done right now

Your bio kind of makes me worried but I hope my rants about Niv helps hihi <3 Thanks for the vote hun! I appreciate it uwu. Oh and if you want ANY form of help, then I'm always here with open arms uwu <3 
          Also being Biromantic is lowkey everything. None of that sexual shit :v I hope you find someone soon <3 Much love
          -BreathingTaekook