heart

have you ever feel the feelings yang tiba tiba buat you rasa dada you sesak, rasa sedih tiba tiba, rasa macam ada banyak sangat problem dalam kepala but you don't know what? you rasa macam ada masalah, but you don't know which peoblem it is. you rasa sedih, tapi you sendiri tak tahu kenapa. you rasa sesak, padahal nothing triggered you pun.
          
          im feeling that rn. 
          
          and im sure you had also, feel it.
          
          i hate this feelings, man.
          
          if i were about to cry, i wanna know the reason.
          
          is it because my mind is full with problems or what?
          
          is it because im experiencing burnt out?
          
          is it because theres too much emotions i hold inside?
          
          is it because the things that i left unsaid?
          
          or is it because my relationship with Allah swt?
          
          idk. 
          
          i honestly dont know.
          
          maybe its all above, maybe its not.
          
          and maybe life is just so unpredictable that we, as a human dont even have to know the reasons for everything. as long as we're doing good, the thing is not probibited in Islam and it heals us, then there'll be no harm. maybe our innerself is full with burdens that we keep inside, so now it had mixed all of it up til we feel the needs to cry. 
          
          its okay.
          
          as long as we wake up tomorrow with a big smile; meaning all the sorrows in our heart has gone away through out the night with our tears.
          
          move on.
          
          and move back to Allah.

best sebenarnya mengadu dekat mak ni even orang panggil kita anak mak sebab ngadu. but then trust me i ngadu kat mama only when my chest cant handle things anymore. toksey lo kecek kita ada trauma banyak kali sebab zaman sekarang ni semua boleh self-claimed, not to say nanti orang ingat kita pick me. maka, kepada sesiapa yang langsung tiada common sense dan tidak percaya yang saya punyai trauma walaupun trauma tu nampak unlogical pada pandangan awak dan walaupun saya terang terang tunjuk ketakutan saya while repeatedly said ive got trauma for almost two years ive been here ; sila contact mak saya demi kemaslahatan kita. saya taknak cerita pasal trauma saya ulang ulang dekat orang yang kurang berakal bila dengan orang lain. awak berakal, fikirlah panjang panjang. kita bukan rapat nak saya cerita semua benda kat awak. tunggu setahun je lepastu nak matikan je number ws ni. tak pun just acted like we never know each other. delete number, reset everything to zero. save num orang lain pula, and then the cycle just goes like a circle.
          
          entah. sengkek hati rasa bila orang tak habis habis acah tahu semua benda yang baik buat kita. kalau awak rasa mak saya terlampau manjakan saya, then feel free to do so. bayangkan awak di tempat saya dan mak awak di tempat mak saya sekarang ni, awak rasa mak awak buat apa? buat bodoh je ke dengan awak atau mak awak akan suruh awak lawan? kalau mak awak diam je lol then that might be you anak angkat. 
          
          doa saya, semoga awak dapat trauma juga. kemudian, semoga orang lain pula taknak kisah tentang trauma awak. so til then you'll know, just how hard it is to endure traumas and things.

selamat hari raya to everyone that came across this message board lolz. anyway, i nak spam gambar raya kat medsos tau tapi lazy gilaaaa macam gila je lazy dia TAPI NAK SPAM,, patu dengan keadaan gambar tu kat fon lagi satu, kena forward kat fon lagi lagi wah wah malas beno akue

I slept for a total of 10 hours. I think thats crazy. Sleeping from maghrib em

I punya mood rasa mangat nak menulis ada haritu je waktu awal awal cuti sem. start minggu lepas i dah rasa nak baking baking jeeeeee shshhdhshs 

kita anggap dia kawan, dia anggap kita apa je hukhuk. kawen pun tak jemput, carik waktu susah je lolol. haritu husnuzon la sikit ingat dia lupa jemput kita, maklumla busy. tak sangka la buat buat lupa rupanya sebab dah bagi hint pun dia buat buat tatau pastu after that takde pun jemput ke apa ;)
          
          its okay, maybe im the problem.
          
          siapalah saya nak minta kasih dan perhatian orang kan?
          
          terima kasih. ;)

yall i rasa nak tukar profession from menulis to mendesign lololol AHAHAHAHA ANYWAY SAY HI TO MY NEWWWWW BOOKCOVER I LOVE IT SO MUCHHHHH GRRR

i really love seeing ME growing up. like yk contohnya dulu kita pernah tengok cerita english without engsub and time tu tak faham pun apa yang dorang cakap. 
          
          but now, bila tengok cerita English without engsub, its not a big deal dah hm TT
          

setelah berbulan— okay i admit setelah setahun, saya kembali dengan umur dan kematangan yang meningkat. still takdek rasa nak update tapi rasa nak buat cerita baru HAHAHAHAH. nak buat cerita baru, tapi tulah idea sekerat jew so maybe i buat macam draft gtu jelah kot eh?

Hi, inararosse is not available due to marathon Detective Conan. Thank you.