SnowyNinja345
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Hi! I realised the author of that book must have been getting annoyed at our constant texting lol. I’m so glad I have someone to talk to. This evening was like absolute shit man. My best friend has a rlly toxic household and her divorced parents got into this big fight about her and I was texting her comforting her and my mum came in and I talked slightly aboht my problems which led me having to study with them every evening until my exams r done. That tiny voice is getting louder now and I’m gonna kill my damn butterflies and I’m scared and tired and I don’t know what the hell to do:( I rlly wanna stay clean but also like idk how much longer I can go bruv. Also while I haven’t been like tested or whatever I’m pretty sure I definitely have social anxiety, and the exact assembly thing happened to me when I didn’t expect my name to be called and I ran outta the hall I get acupuncture for my acne btw. Also Ngl your parents sound sorta BS Parents just don’t understand how we r feeling and act like we don’t matter then on the rare occasion theh tell us we mean the world to them? Like wtf Like not in a creepy weird way but I sorta feel like we were meant to meet(don’t wanna sound cringe rn I’m trying so hard ) but it’s rlly nice knowing a total stranger cares for me and I just related to u so much.
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@SnowyNinja345 that's the thing, I am very perspective and have a lot of sympathy/empathy for people. Splitting doesn't really work like that, even if ik the perspective sometimes I can't unsplit, for me it just takes time to realize I'm splitting and that I don't actually feel these emotions towards the person/thing or whatever. like ik I'm splitting rn but I can't stop it. I genuinely feel a deep sense of hate and anger towards myself and my sister right now, ik I'm splitting on myself and her, like yeah Shes fucking annoying and selfish, actually I'm gonna avoid talking about her so I don't say shit, and I see her side of what triggered me, yet I still feel like that. I told you early on that mental health does not excuse actions, I think the same for myself. Ultimately what I do or say is not my disorder's fault, its mine. I am in a sense a bad person; you can't convince me otherwise. Also, ik I just say bpd, but I have bipolar disorder 1 and borderline personality disorder among other shit, I usually just say bpd because they both have the same acronym sorry if that wasn't clear
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