"*insert clever quote here to signify that I'm a clever son of a potato*"

Why hello there, young adventurer.
Welcome to my dear cave (of bizarre antiquities and many more).
A sight to behold and capture, as it is rare and totally not unoriginal and like other accounts.
You may come and go as you please, and there is not limit to your visits, but remember.
BE CAREFUL (of what you read here because it's probably too amateur for your tastes).
(I'm kidding, please ignore this, it's weird).