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Bruh i hate that i procrastinate so much all the fucking time but its like i just see the amount of work i have to do, i get overwhelmed so i fully block that shit out and ignore it until i really can't anymore, and in the end it just stresses me out even more than if i had done it immediately. Like deadass i had all fucking break (2 weeks) to do my work and here i am on tuesday skipping class and having done NOTHING AT ALL BITCH. and it's so frustrating cause i hate doing it but i can't stop doing it.
And im like genuinely worried how tf i'll manage next year in uni cause im so used to having talented all the way through middle school and especially high school so i never developped good study habits, or ANY study habits for that matter (really not to brag btw im like actually concerned). Moving on, even now on one hand i feel really lucky to be able to get really good grades while barely ever studying, but on the other hand it makes me so mad at myself cause that means my grades would be insane if i actually put effort in. But like the last time i tried to get myself together and put effort in, it literally sucked the life out of me. i deadass couldn't cry anymore for a while after that, cause i had gotten so used to telling myself to just stfu and work cause i didn't have time to be crying like a baby bitch. So then im like is putting effort in even worth it ? I mean in france we already have horrible schedules and a shit ton of hmw, so then im like wtv i don't wanna be a "serious student" and have no social life wtf.
anywayss FUCK SCHOOL :))