itshiyori

pigang-piga utak for today

itshiyori

 "TO WRITE A STORY IS NOT FOR THE WEAK."
          
          skl. 
          
          writing a story made me realize something.
          
          totoo pala talaga yung sinasabi ng ibang writers—kapag nagsusulat ka, hindi lang sapat na ine-express mo yung sarili mong nararamdaman. kailangan mo ring maramdaman yung emotion ng mga character mo.
          
          habang binubuo ko pa lang yung plot sa utak ko, iniisip yung mga scene, yung narration, yung bawat line... natutulala na lang ako out of nowhere.
          
          parang bigla na lang akong nawawala sa reality.
          
          sometimes, tahimik lang akong nakatingin sa kung saan, but ang dami nang nangyayari sa isip ko. nakikita ko silang nagsasalita. nakikita ko kung paano sila umiiyak, kung paano sila nagmamahal, kung paano sila unti-unting nadudurog. naririnig ko yung mga salitang hindi pa nila nasasabi. ramdam ko yung mga emotion na hindi ko pa naman naisusulat.
          
          and doon ko na-realize na hindi pala sila ang nabubuhay sa'yo. ikaw ang nabubuhay sa kanila.
          
          for a while, you stop being yourself. you become every single one of them. you carry their regrets, their fears, their anger, their love, and even the words they could never say out loud.
          
          and tbh, it's so draining.

itshiyori

and after reading so many stories, i have an even deeper respect for every author out there. they didn't just write a story. they chose to feel every emotion their characters carried, just so their readers could feel them too.
            
            sometimes, the hardest part isn't writing the words. it's surviving the emotions behind them.
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itshiyori

parang para maisulat mo yung sakit nila, kailangan maramdaman mo rin muna yung sakit. kase hindi sapat na isulat mo lang na umiiyak sila. kailangan maintindihan mo kung bakit sila umiiyak. kailangan maramdaman mo kung gaano kabigat yung dinadala nila para maging totoo sa bawat salitang isusulat mo.
            
            minsan, nasa isip ko pa lang yung scene, pero parang napapagod na ako emotionally. hindi ko pa nga siya naisusulat, pero pakiramdam ko, pinagdaanan ko na. at pakiramdam ko ubos na ubos na agad ako.
            
            and writing this series has been one of the hardest things i've ever done. and i know it's only going to get harder.
            
            there are chapters i haven't written yet that already make me want to stop and stare into space. there are conversations i haven't typed, goodbyes i haven't reached, and heartbreaks my readers haven't witnessed—pero somehow, i've already lived through them.
            
            minsan talaga iniisip ko kung makakaya ko bang tapusin.
            
            kung magiging matapang ba ako para isulat ang mga scene na ilang buwan nang paulit-ulit na tumatakbo sa isip ko. kung kakayanin ko bang bitawan sila sa papel pagkatapos ko silang buhatin sa puso nang ganoon katagal.
            
            kase once i write them, they'll become real.
            
            hindi lang basta thoughts inside my mind, but moments my characters—and eventually my readers—will have to live through.
            
            at siguro, iyon ang pinakanakakatakot. hindi dahil hindi ko alam kung paano matatapos ang kwento. kundi dahil alam ko kung gaano muna kasakit bago sila makarating doon.
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itshiyori

pass muna sa iba, don muna ako sa palaging laman ng st. asteria academy wall

itshiyori

kimi. love u, gillan :*
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itshiyori

don tayo sa chinese na naka red ferarri, palaging may pakete ng marlboro black at lighter sa bulsa, mahilig lumaklak ng cuervo, tambay sa royal makati, paborito at tropa ng lahat ng dj sa san juan, at higit sa lahat—blacksheep ng pamilya
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marie_sashi

 hi miss a, hanggang ilang chapter po yung what remains after december? nakakabitin po kasi huhu, ang gandaaaa po ng story

itshiyori

@marie_sashi hi, love! originally, ang plan ko talaga was 50 chapters then epilogue. but habang sinusulat ko siya, narealize kong baka lumagpas pa ro'n. first story ko kasi 'to, and at the same time, first story rin siya ng buong series. i want to take my time with it para maayos yung world-building, character development, and ayaw kong madaliin yung pacing kasi maraming small details at foreshadowing dito na magco-connect sa mga susunod na stories. ayokong i-rush just to stick sa original chapter count.
            
            anw, thank u so much! super happy akong may nakakaappreciate sa kanila. i promise i'll make every chapter worth the wait. thank you for reading
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