itskennywrites

Just wanna pass out and not think about things at all. 

itskennywrites

Interests get lost, love fades, memories burn, and so does my skin. The fire you lit with your touch now aches me down to my soul, the pain consumes me whole. You're testament to there is beauty in this world, so much so that it is a cause of my ruin. You said you liked this control to ruin me with your words, with you tearing open holes inside of my heart, leaving it shattered and numb. But did you know how immensely it hurts to be disappointed? How gravely I collapse without the world slipping beneath my feet? I don't think you'd know what it means to lose everything after you've given it to somebody else, because you never did. 

itskennywrites

with* the world slipping 
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itskennywrites

I'm tired of the weight of these expectations. They suffocate me in every moment and leave me paralyzed. This is a tumultuous suffering from not just that but from trauma and hurt, from not trying enough and not making the change I should. I only leave more scars for the future me, more baggage to carry, more agony to bear. I'm tied up in chains too hard to get out of. My feet knees deep in quicksand, the more I struggle the deeper I end. The more I flail, the quicker I slip. It's a bottomless pit of needles that stab me deep through my soul, that burn my scars new and old. 

itskennywrites

There's a starving beast inside of me. Starving for affection, attention and your time, but too scared to say it out loud. Only if you had made me feel safe to let loose, to not be scared to be who I am, of what I am... I wouldn't have been so consumed by this hunger and this thirst to be wanted, to be loved, to be needed like the breath in your lungs, to be the words on somebody's tongue. But you starve me of this dopamine, only letting me catch a glimpse before leaving me a mice trapped in a poisonous scheme. One which gnaws at my heart at every moment, one which devours my soul. Only if it had devoured me whole, I wouldn't have felt so incomplete; empty yet every fiber of my being wants to piece the broken pieces together, so it all wouldn't feel so meaningless, my worth would have some meaning and value, my existence not a husk - a hollow shell.

itskennywrites

I will be releasing a new book soon, which will be something of a mix of prose and free-verse poetry. Just consider it scribbles of a wilting soul in the winter snow.
          
          Inspiration came as I made my last two posts on my profile.
          
          2025 let's do better as a writer and an artist. 

poeticstardust_

@itskennywrites Looking forward to your new book!
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itskennywrites

I heard back from you. But all I heard were screams and howls, of beings that exist within shadows of a facade of my smile. Behind every glance that I muster towards reality existed a carcass completely empty and hollow of its existence. No rhyme and reason to enjoy the breeze or the passing of time. Just merely being there, taking the burns - for if the world were to burn me to cinders, I would have been ashes forgotten and lost. Not that I am already not. The trail I left on the sand is already buried in the dark. 

itskennywrites

Some moments are meant to be forgotten, and some are meant to be remembered forever. You are one such which I cannot fathom what to do with. You stay a riddle to me even after all these years. You stay a topic I need to bring on my tongue, a discussion that needs to be unfolded, a breeze that stayed still but haven't been touched. You're that untouched flower that needs to be picked and admired, for its scent, for its beauty, for all the trouble it went through to bloom into the glowering flower that it is now. To all its resplendence was a story that needs to be read and heard. To be seen with unspoken words and unweaved thoughts. You're something very special I cannot put in words.