Listen, I'm basically three raccoons in a trench coat pretending to be a person, fueled exclusively by iced coffee and a total lack of moral oversight. My eyes aren't bloodshot from exhaustion they're bloodshot because I just inhaled a 400-page "enemies to lovers" fic where they were enemies for exactly two sentences before the absolute depravity started.

I'm not here for a "slow burn." If I'm not getting immediate third-degree burns, I don't want it. My library is a digital biohazard that would require a priest, an exorcism, and a formal apology to my entire bloodline. I spend my "functioning" life reading stories that are 90% spice and 10% how is this physically possible without breaking a spine?
 If you see me staring into the abyss, I'm not thinking, I'm just mentally replaying a scene from Chapter 14 that is definitely illegal in 48 states. My hobbies include ignoring my actual life to read about people who need a restraining order and a cold shower. If I die, tell the paramedics to smash my phone into dust before the funeral. I'd like to keep my "good person" reputation intact for at least ten minutes after the casket closes. My digital footprint is a crime scene, my search history is a scream for help, and if you see me voting at 4 AM... no you didn't. Mind your business and let me rot in peace with my fictional red flags. Anyways I should probably go to sleep now its 3am ;)   M🐾ng m🐶ng ૮ >ﻌ< ა  𝗘𝗡╸승민 🐾°

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ♫♬♪ 𝒸𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝓂𝑒 (𝔰𝔩𝔬𝔴𝔢𝔡 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔯𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔟𝔢𝔡) ▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။||||။‌‌‌‌‌၊|• 1:43 ✩♬ ₊˚.🎧⋆☾⁺₊✧✩♬ ₊˚.🎧⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩♬ ₊˚.🎧 
            ⍟⭒𝟑𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐀⭒⍟  ℒ𝓮𝓮 𝒦𝓷𝓸𝔀  ⌗ !! ꒰ 𝐇𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐧 ꒱ 🥝  
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
       🐥‧₊˚✩𝓕𝑒𝒍𝒾ﾒ‧₊˚✩ 🐥  🐶ྀི⋆☾⋆𝓚𝓲𝓶 𝓢𝓮𝓾𝓷𝓰𝓶𝓲𝓷⋆☾⋆🐶
                                        《🍞𝑰.𝑵 𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒐𝒑🍞》
⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝⊹ ࣪
 𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊