d i r t y t o e s

that's so cute, i appreciate it ❤️

KONICHIWA, HOLA, HELLO, OJE.
          UHM.... so Ivanashadz is no longer in existence. I am now Ivanasucks and uhm, just letting you know if you are all still here and well... I might change the name again in the coming days.... So expect another mail from me :D sorry to bother. 
          
          All the f'ing love xX

hi there well hai hai. haven't been here in a while and i always say that's going to change well... it's not. so if y'all still here... this is a new me.

Cont...
          
          It's not pretty out there
          
          My brother and I have no words. We don't know how to console anybody and honestly, I don't think we understand really, how anyone feels no matter how certain we look when we say "i know, i understand"
          School doesn't prep you for this.
          We all deal with this pain and sorrow in such different ways, you'd rather not say anything in fear of saying the wrong thing, and messing it all up again even worse.
          
          It's not pretty. 
          
          But I'll tell you what is.
          My uncle's new home.
          
          It's so pretty.
          He doesn't remember a thing, ever being mad with someone, or whatever harsh words you threw at him before he was gone.
          He will always be in a light, so bright, so warm and nice.
          He will always be held by the mightiest of hands.
          What pain? What anger? What worry?
          There is none of that where he is at. 
          He did his part, and God knew.
          God needed a better musician up there.
          
          It's just holy lights, perfect harmonic singing, peace and rest forever.
          It's gloriously pretty up there.
          
          It's so pretty I can almost hear him scream how perfect it all is.
          
          It's so nice, and we all fit. It is so amazing how we are all still together, in the arms of The Lord Almighty.
          
          The family is not broken, it's bent. And it will work like this for now. 
          Eventually we will all be strong to bend it back to rightness and continue, remembering always those who helped us make the path in the first place.
          
          The family is stronger than ever. 
          And it's so pretty I could almost cry but...
          
          How can I?
          
          These thoughts help me move on and these thoughts help me smile.
          
          You will be missed, and you will be watching over us.
          You forgive us all, I know that.
          
          God. 
          Thank you for the time you gave me with him. The time you gave us all.
          Bless his heart, his kind heart.
          Because
          Your glory... Oh God,
          It's so pretty 
          
          

Things are not right.
          It's not pretty out there.
          
          I've seen my father cry a total amount of 7 times. 
          
          Four of those were today.
          
          His brother just passed away yesterday,
          it wasn't pretty, 
          we're all mad because it was stupid. He had something that a daily 30 minute treatment could cure in about month. 
          He had the time, we had the needs.
          He kept lying that he was okay when he wasn't and everybody could notice that he wasn't right. He finally got it treated and then lied that he was going to the treatments. He wasn't. No one knows why, nor will we ever know.
          
          He was a musician, the best in his instrument. 
          He worked with both my mom and dad in a really famous band in my country and over the world. He was a basic element to our traditional music. 
          The best is gone.
          
          It's not pretty. 
          He got worse. His anaemia kicked in, his breathing had a failure. 
          He was gone before we even thought we would ever say goodbye to him. 
          
          The band is incomplete. My mom feels deflated, she doesn't know how she'll play without him, she doesn't know how she'll start this song or that song, she doesn't know how she will ever look to the back of the bus and see his empty seat. 
          
          My dad is still in shock. He has to be the man.
          He's the only guy here now, besides my brother but you know.
          He is also mad, his fights with his brother were always about how he never took good care of his health, and by the time he realised, it was too late.
          My dad is broken. But he's such a rock. 
          His other brother took the first flight to come over.
          
          The storm is kicking in. It's picking up. Airports have been closed and towns have been flooded.
          
          It's not pretty out there
          
          

I would give anything to re do my high school experience.
          
          
          Especially sophmore year

Latino families are cray.
           #hollaaaa

My parents are literally snoring in sync right now. 
          Like when one goes *snore* the other is silent and then they change....
          
          
          AND NOW THEY ARE DOING THE SAME SNORE-TYPE-SOUND AT THE SAME TIME OMFG
          
          .-. Idk if i should call this romantic or... 
          
          Why am i still in their room goodbyesssssss parentals

Wont even proof read for mistakes...
          
          
          
          Oh! I have serious issues with commitment... (Not relationship wise) but with like work. 
          
          I think whoever is reading this they just know i do cause i never update anymore. 
          
          
          I still got a week left of vacays from college before my 6th semester kicks in. I have written and advanced most pf my stories, also started new ones. 
          
          I will mot promise updates because i do not wish to break that promise, but i can actually say that i have developed a system to help my writting and to keep me fresh and liking my own work enough to progress it and upload it. I will do that and then upload. 
          
          
          Also i have decided to make much more simpler stories (complex plot but simple writting) kinda like them really indie books you can find on wattpad. (Am i the only one who calls them indie books?) And i have also decided to make short stories first and start off this commitment assignment small. Then work to better stories better upload schedule better everything with ease but determination and this is like an exercise that will guarantee this for me and i want to have better content for everyone. Content that i myself would read and stay on my toes for the next update. 
          
          That being said, my stories might be gone and come back when i am all settled OR they might stay up but i will have them on some sort of hiatus while the other stories i mentioned before do get to be uploaded and updated accordingly (to my little exercise) HAVE NOT DECIDED YET
          
          
          WHY DO I Write THESE? cause I AM BORED. I aint got followers who read this.
          
          Hi pops, if you are reading. You are the only one who does, and 60% of the time it is  i who sends you to read my shite... Byzzers

SO BASICALLY, I is going to Ed Sheeran's concert in Miami september 9th (best birthday present evah since ma bday is the 14th) 
          WHO IS ALSO GOING I WANNA KNO IT WOULD BE COOL TO KNO. PS my mother is tagging along with me so yup. She wants that ginger booty to herself. 
          
          I aint got that amazing of a view and i aint got them fancy ass tickets but imma be there and I will love yoi if you is there too peace rambling. Now i am gone