I have not always had a life i expected everything is  really the opposite. i just always wanted someone that i could look up to after my grandfather died in the military. all my family looks at me like i am crazy because he was a great person to look up to so i wanted to be in the army. i wanted to kill myself most of the times after his death because of my family. ive never had anyone to care for me so these stories is the way i can get all of my problem and struggle out because i dont know how to say out loud.if anyone can help me please feel free to be someone to help me. i only had some people to help me along the way.THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!