Thanks for 3k in "I don't deserve this"
Recently, I have been losing much interest in NCT, and even kpop in general. (I even sold off my doyoung bunny pc!)
Kpop is still a music that I enjoy, but perhaps I am losing interest in being part of a fandom. I'm looking at fanart a lot less, it has been 2 months since I've read any fanfiction and I did not watch any videos. I'm not up to date with NCT's activities and I'm spending my time on other pleasures.
Is this me...maturing? I had pondered this at some point in the last two months.
The new year has arrived in a flash and I look back on my holiday with some regret. I did not write as much as I had wished. Soon, school will re-open and I will have to prepare for the onslaught of graded projects and exams.
I wished that I had wrote more. Then again, if I had forced myself to write a story of characters I am no longer passionate about, would I still be able to experience the joy of writing? The process might have been a painful one.
Tonight, after scrolling through my writing documents, I found several projects I have abandoned. I have about 6 different story ideas, some have been drafted out, two are half done, and one abandoned.
This isn’t the first time that I've revisited my works during a writing break. However, this is the first time in 2 months that I pulled out a document and typed away.
I don't know what spurred me to continue the stories. Was it my readers? Was it the votes get on a book? Was I forcing myself?
I still haven't gotten a hold on the reason why I decided to continue writing. During the 2 months of me losing interest in NCT, I've worried for the future of this writing account. I enjoy writing, but I had hoped to change my target audience as well as the characters of my story.
Maybe I don't need to worry too much about these doubts. For now, I'll write while my interest lasts.
