Greetings earthlings. 

   I come from a galaxy too far away for your human minds to comprehend. 

   Even though we are very intelligent, it saddens me to tell you that your bodies are yet too complex for my kind to possess, so I have only this webpage to communicate with you's. 

   I've still got lightyears to travel before I can set tentacle on your planet, but until then, you can read my very own wattpad stories, inspired by human behavior.

   Thank you, your support is out of this world.

PS. the world wide web actually does reach the entire world, so be careful who you interact with online, because they might just be a slimy glob.