Jeni

Happy holidays to literally everyone except that foul woman and my toxic as hell ex

So I'm allergic to mangos. Who knew?

After spending years telling myself no one would actually miss me if anything happened to me, someone finally said something that clicked in my head. Someone will miss me. Maybe not as much as they think, but i still appreciate the way they're so sure they'll miss me. It takes away a little bit of the hurt I get when I think of how mother always says I'm a waste of space in this house. 

I will forever live off of Walmart breakroom coffee on the cold nights

Customers are absolutely wild. Like bro, I don't know why the pickers got the wrong color shower curtain rod, that's not my job? Did you order the wrong color? Are you sure? Don't yell at me over that. If my vest comes home smelling like vinegar one more time, I'm pretty sure I'll have to sleep outside. You just watched my knee pop out of place and me fall down to the ground, do not ask me if your bread is okay ma'am. I will not hesitate to turn my name tag around and throw your groceries into your car of you're mean to me. I'm "How to Get Fired 101" around here most of the time anyway. Please do not berate me based on my shoes or t-shirt. I'll go straight to management over you. If one more person mentions how part of my hair being a different color is unprofessional and asks why some of my eyebrow is blonde, I'm going to snap. Please be nice to the employees in customer service. Even though some of us are the absolute worst to even talk to, the rest are actually trying their best. One bad complaint on some of them, if they're newer, could get them fired. Don't take it out on them. I watched one girl cry at work today because a customer left her a survey that ultimately said she was the worst possible employee and how management should fire her purely because she told them an item was out of stock. This was her 4th day. We are in fact people and would appreciate if you would treat us as such

Guess who got a job my dudes. My first day is tomorrow at 7am. It's really fast paced and physically demanding and honestly, I'm really excited. I think I'll fit in really well there. I'll have 3 days off a week, so it lines up well with my band schedule. Our first football game is tonight and it's so weird. The band will be in the end zone in chairs instead of in the bleachers. I'm sure this will be a season to remember

Things are getting wild in this house again. My mother's been yelling all day. This is my escape from all of that. Things are getting harder. It's harder to stay happy and keep going. But I'm doing it. I won't give up. Not ever. But it gets hard sometimes.

Alright guys, I'm back and better than ever. Mildly. For the most part. Besides no school until at least April, everything's going okay. That's not why I'm writing this though. I'm going to be posting the first chapter of something I'm working on later tonight. It's the story of my life so far. I'm skipping all my elementary school years. It'll start at 5th grade. I don't know exactly how detailed it's going to be since I'm currently writing the first chapter. I want you guys to keep in mind that it's factual and some of these things are hard for me to talk about. I'm not asking for people to absolutely love it, but I am asking for people to read it so they can know me. The real me. Since I have a lot of free time, I'll probably actually make an update schedule. Surprising, I know. Well I guess I'll be back later to post the first chapter. See you later guys!

It's been a tough week. I don't think I can deal with everything all at once. I'm barely on here anyway, but I'm thinking I might delete everything and start fresh. I know a lot of people think of me as loyal to a fault, and I'm starting to see what they mean. I keep missing someone and defending them when all they do is leave. It hurts, and I'm going to take some time to try to understand it. I'm guessing this is probably goodbye for a long time. I'll be back eventually. I just have to deal with some things. Maybe even cut some people out of my life. If you need me and I know you, you likely have my snap. That's really the only thing I'll be on for a long time. I might start checking my discord again, I don't know.  February is a really rough month for me. Hopefully, it can only get better. I went back to the therapist the other day. She says I have to go back on medication. I see the neurologist soon for my migraines. I go back to the wrist doctor really soon. I might be going back to physical therapy for my back and my wrist. Thank you to my friends that have helped me during this time, you know who you are. After I broke down crying yesterday, you were there. You told me my worth and cheered me up. Thank you for anyone that read this, have a nice day

Guys I'm panicking and I don't know why please help