Hi,
I didn’t really want to be too emotional or sentimental to you all. But I have to get this off of my chest and I feel like you guys are my safest space—giving no judgments and whatsoever—right now.
I am at this point again where I ask myself why I am still here—breathing. I am not saying I want to end myself, but I’d sometimes think that maybe, it’d better if I no longer wake up. Whenever I wake up, I’d find myself feeling empty or sometimes crying. I’d sometimes wonder why I am awake. There was even this time when I was so confused why my alarm clock went off only realizing after a few moments that it was my daily alarm for work—that’s how messed up my mind is.
The only ones who give me hope are you. I stopped dreaming. My only dream now is to finish the book beautifully, so that there’s no more dream left in me.
I’m really sorry.