지민리

too weak to realise that i am hurting and killing myself,my body and my life.
          
          I'm not okey, but i'm still saying that i am okey, because 'i am okey physically'.
          
          i am okey, too okey until i'm destructive myself. 
          
          I'm saying I'm okey, but I've done the otherwise. 
          
          I'm ok, but at the same time I'm killing myself slowly not thinking but knowing one day I will disappear.
          
          help me, this is my mind. Don't trust my mouth it's killing me.
          
          I'm denying the truth.

From A fluff
          I became A cub
          
          From A cub
          I became A Human
          
          From A Human
          I became an outsider
          
          From Outsider
          I became A Kitten
          
          From Kitten 
          I became A Princess
          
          From A Princess
          I became Depressed
          
          From Depressed
          I became cold.
          
          Read the last word is me now.

should i write a poetic book? or no? or just fuck it i don't need you to write.

Nobody in this world are heartless,
          Unless they are psychophatic,
          But the way you keep saying words to me less,
          It's making me more a phatetic.
          
          You were supposed to be my sun,
          my light, and my air,
          Too keep me living till this day,
          Instead why do i feel you are not being fair,
          Where is the word that you said the other day?
          
          I hold so much pain inside myself,
          I kept my mouth shut and my tounge being tied,
          I grasp all my feelings and loneliness until it became ice shelf,
          Now i am different just to be hide.
          
          I'm slowly pushing myself over the edge,
          Hoping one day i could end my life,
          Realising i am just another of your flex,
          Closing my eyes to stop breathing for another life.
          
          

i kept having this unmotivational mindset everyday,
          but still moving forward over curiosity on what will be happend on the next day,
          i also keep on thingking on a foul play,
          on how to make myself dead and being forgotten away.
          
          don't worry, i'm still okay

foward! foward! foward we go
          
          the army's are marching, toward we go
          
          to the dungeon hell that is sucking up our life
          
          the dungeon that netizen are building up
          
          forward we seek life.

i'm sad.
          I am not rejecting myself as a malaysian.
          But i myself is hating on myself being called malaysian.
          The netizen are too strong to behold.
          everyday on war, but non to be mind.
          If liking something is to wrong to be call,
          Then i rather not seeing them to be sold.
          I'm sorry. Please don't come. Go back. And never come to where i live. :)

quitely living for my parents
          but the demon inside me is not
          
          i just hurt a person
          and what's more hurting is
          
          i love him.

being happy is a gift
          being sad is a gift
          having mood is a gift
          everything is a gift
          
          but not the society mindset.

do any of y'all have any story suggestion for me to read, any genre, malay or english story is fine. I needed something to read