𝙲𝚊𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚛 🧸

Bro I haven't been on here in so fucking long. Uhh... Hey y'all 

I'm trying so hard to keep going. I want to have a future, I really do. Sometimes it just feels easier to not live at all than to live like this. I'm stuck. I can't go into foster care again, it's just as bad for my mental health. I sleep all the time because it's the closest thing I have to death. I really hate this time of my life and I know that everything is temporary, and this will pass soon but right now I'm so fragile and I get no support outside of the internet.

Ok, so I ordered a phone off of BestBuy with her info (email, phone number, debit card, etc) WITH HER PERMISSION, because I accidentally lost my phone on the bus in December. She got an email saying it was delivered on the 26th of January but we never got the package. Today I decided to call the support line so I can get my order. The (very kind) employee was having trouble and my mom decided to take over the call and started yelling at this poor woman. My mom then directed her anger onto me and started to embarrass me by telling the employee that I took her debit card and ordered the phone without her permission, and phrased it as though this was a normal occurrence. Around the end of the call up to when the unsuccessful call was over my mom was yelling at me as if it were 100% my fault the order never arrived. Calling me names and saying that I shouldn't order things online if I don't know how to (huh?).  She was giving me such terrible stress on top of already having social anxiety from speaking on the phone. When the call was over I blew up and started yelling back telling her to shut up as a trauma response (nothing new).  Honestly, I've never dealt with anger issues and used to be really chill and calm when I was frustrated. I still am with other people, but there's something about my mom that just makes me explode whenever I feel the tiniest bit of negativity.

JFXTJYMDK I LOVE UR PFP-

I cant keep doing this. Having a mom who is narcissistic with a victim complex is too much.
          
           Not long ago she came up to me and asked if I can help her with something. She took out a piece of mail and kept saying "Can you help me?". She never specified what it is so I said "Help you with what?". She fucking blew up and was like "It's for- Well just fucking read it, you're the one who has your glasses on all the time" "The paper will make more sense than me" "I fucking hate you, you never want to help me with anything" "Nevermind I'll just ask your brother when he comes back in October" "I fucking buy you a laptop and you're so ungrateful!".
          
           I literally just fucking asked her what she needs help with. Still yelling and stomping upstairs, she said "Why cant you just read it?" (By this time she already grabbed the paper with her). I explained that even reading it, I wouldn't understand because I need context on what it's about. She started speaking in a mocking tone "oH, fUcKiNg CoNtExT nOw". I just can't live like this anymore.

Ah yes a fellow tyrus fan eh? Our battle will be legendary!

I ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY LOVE YOUR PFP-

@Dawg1515 same as always, you?

@Dawg1515 Thank you <3

It's my brother who put the milk in, and actually made a breakfast. She knows he put the milk in and is still complaining about ME. Hes just there agreeing with her talking shit about me and what I didnt even do. I fucking hate this family sometimes jesus christ.