💕

I’m so sad rn, I really hate it in this house… I just wish I could leave but I’ve never had a job, I’m currently on a year break from my uni, my job applications keep falling flat, I really miss my last placement ward they felt like my found family, I just want to be back in a hospital setting again it’s where I feel like I’m at my best doing what I love … 
          
          Yet me being so stupid keeps holding me back from being able to do that as a full time profession, I feel like a true failure .. 
          
          I’m honestly just so appreciative of my friend from here and my boyfriend for being my main reasons for still being here. Yes I have my best friend but I’ve been such a bad friend and so distant I don’t wouldn’t blame her for leaving..
          
          I’m well and truly just tryna distract myself from doing a bad thing again when I know I’ve been clean for idk how long… 
          Sorry to whoever cares to read this. Bye. Sorry again.

Hey there 
          I'm interested in you 
          Are you looking for a Dom daddy?

It’s my boyfriend’s birthday today, I’m so sad I can’t be there to spoil him and the card I sent is gonna get there late ☹️☹️

I’ve been silent for so long not anyone was listening apart from my one favourite person but hey y’all I’m still alive sadly/not sadly (still debating)

Crying in front of my uni course lead today has to be my biggest L and guess who’s being held back a year :) and also been referred to the uni counsel support team ‍♀️☹️ I hate it here - not because I’m getting help that I was too scared to ask for, but because of my parents, I swear if I don’t get this job I’m gonna lose my mind and explode

Yeah anyways I have a 5 day plan ... I’d like to hope and believe I commit to this one ,, if I don’t it just proves everything I’ve been told ... so bye in advance I guess, and I beg you guys don’t send whatever yall did last time to bloody watt pad cus they did indeed dm me as a concern .. don’t do that please and thank you

Omg, thank you for adding the Wrong Number! to your list. I actually giggled when I read the name of your reading list, thank you hehe❤️

I’m such a failure I swear, I’d actually save the world more by disappearing than trying to be a damn nurse especially when I just got notified of yet another failed assignment today  why am I even wasting everyone’s time and space for a flop like me I swear

You know the craziest thing is yesterday on shift one of my patients was looking to me for comfort during a mental breakdown and after she was really nice and said that I helped her a lot but in my eyes I felt like I failed her cause all I could see was myself in her and look at me now … having a full on mental breakdown by myself all over again

Idk how one comment from my mother opened up a flood works that I didn’t realise I was ignoring all this time, … I guess me wanting to off myself deffo wasn’t a phase (I say this everytime I relapse after thinking I got better) I feel like first step spring clean my room of everything before doing it I mean honestly … let me not go into a plan especially if I wound up back on here like the failure I am who couldn’t commit so yh but I haven’t cried in weeks and she just sent me into a full mental breakdown and I’ve had to message the one person I love and feel like truly loves me equally if not more that I might be Mia because I’m not in the right mental space and despite me needing them to help calm me down I’d take suffering and not being a burden than feeling like I made them comfort me right now … I hate it here