tetekv_

Omg I miss you! Are u alive?

tetekv_

@joenkim1306  Ily very much ^_^♥︎♡♡♡♡ no worries! Just be ok and come back soon
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joenkim1306

@tetekv_ thanks for saying this author nim i feel grateful you made me feel so much so good really thank you so much even if I'm not there for you and I feel guilty for that tho I keep trying I'm sorry author nim ik words sounds hollow when there's no action but I'm helpless rn... Going through a phase that seems endless, I hope it ends soon. 
            Tho thank you so much author nim and please take care of yourself I keep praying for your physical and mental health everyday even if i don't text. Love you❤. 
            Sorry for making you wait for such long I'm really sorry author nim really sorry.
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tetekv_

@tetekv_ not*
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tetekv_

Gimme the tea of your life situation right now (- ▪︎ -)

joenkim1306

@tetekv_ WE can if we are together.
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tetekv_

@joenkim1306  Let's keep surviving till we are wrickled and grey ♡♡ you can do it
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joenkim1306

@tetekv_  no tea author nim... Just surviving yk 
            I'm sorry for late reply
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tetekv_

Hey sweetie! How have you been?? University is killing me!

tetekv_

@joenkim1306 I miss you more, yes I'm doing okay! Just university is keeping me too busy,  I'm dead. I hope you're doing great nowwwwww!! Plesse take care of yourself and I'm waiting for your return eagerly ♡♡♡ I hope your exams will go well!!
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joenkim1306

@tetekv_ I'm fine! You? Are you okay? Eating properly? Taking care of yourself? 
            I miss you
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tetekv_

this message may be offensive 
........:)   guess what, I thought i will be fine but day by day im dying inside I miss y mother, miss my pedophile abuser, miss my ex all together, miss Allah's love. I feel like I have no one now, im crumbling down piece by piece.  I even miss myself who used to be there for me all the time. But im not finding her anywhere, I feel empty from inside. Just runing on autopilot. Smiling, living, breathing, writing. But sometimes when I snap back to reality , I feel like godamm I fucked. The pain is so agonizing that I forced myself snap into autopilot once again. Like why the hell I'm feeling so disgusted at myself that I don't even want to be there for myself? 
          
          Uhohohuuhuhuhuhhuhuh..ok let's just stop with this reality and go back, go back. I think im good at it. Fuck im so good at living in a world I built inside my head. I think I'm mentally sick...cause....why people left me? Damm

joenkim1306

this message may be offensive 
@tetekv_  everything you said is valid even Missing that pedo ,why? Bcs it's not bcs you are missing them,its bcs you see yourself alone. 
            But soften yourself a lil and don't try to take that pedo's lose as real life loss I'm glad they left but it's understandable why you feel like wanting them back at that time. it's just sometimes we feel like we need something to ground us even if it's toxic. 
            I understand and exhaustion.the pain mental emotional physical and weight of reality. 
            Your self that used to be there for you isn't disgusted at all it's just she is tired herself after all look how much she has gone through. That's not mentally sick that's a person who is exhausted and drained so it keep going back to place where atleast one of the pain gets numb if  not healed. 
            Some people are removed by God like that pedo, while it's just... Idk how to say bcs your mother is real and most painful loss that no scripture talk can make it less painful. 
            Thank you for sharing it here , even tho I didn't reply on time. 
            Keep praying author nim keep your faith in God everything will be alright soon I wish I could be there in person. Don't give up. 
            Maybe things are fucked up but they are not finished. 
            Be gentle on yourself. I'm here. ♡♡
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