Sure! But I have to do it later kasi kakalipat ko lang ng house and wala pa ko internet. Nakiki-internet lang ko :) If you want you can send a soft copy to my email juliepot@yahoo.com so I could fully read your story. Anyways, I've briefly read your story and sorry ha may comment na agad ako. The idea is very good but you also need to watch for the grammars. Verb tenses, singular and plural forms, prepositions, spelling etc. If you are not too sure about a certain phrase or how it should be said or written, just Google it. Remember we can ask Google almost anything. Goodluck! :)