Hey! So I read your first few chapters since they were pretty short, and I do think you need to work on the grammar and separate the speech.
I also think you need to add some feelings to it. The chapters are a bit boring because we have no feelings and no chemistry between the characters, and no proper history between them.
You want readers to want your characters to end up together, I guess right? So you need to write more details and give insight into their emotions and how they became friends, what do they like about their love interest and why they’d want more than being just friends etc.
Sorry, it does need a lot of work but I believe in you! Good luck with writing! ☺️
