justinbathory

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I read a part of a chapter of Hello Mr. Hanson. The narrative is just telling me the events. The breakfast bit wasn't exactly important to the story. I understand your attempt at describing the parents and their interactions. But giving the information about the friends broke the story as a distraction. It made wonder what is the tie in point in doing so in that part. It could be described later when the friends come to meet her.
          
          And a elementary teacher needs to cut costs in expenses. I understand that the narrative is from a teen. But, there are days where one can't go to a coffee shop due to oversleeping. Teachers don't make that comfortable of an income. It's a lot of work.

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Hello! Please check out my story "Mysterious East" I would love to here your thoughts about my story too! Thank you!