I. M. Kulkarni

BREAKING NEWS: THE FANPAGE IS NOW OFFICIAL
          
          GUESS. WHAT.
          
          Didi has spoken.
          
          dhol beats intensify
          
          Approval granted. Royal seal stamped. Blessings bestowed.
          
          As of today, this account is now the official fanpage of the one and only, the queen of emotional carnage, the destroyer of peace, the goddess of literary pain — @IrisThorn02.
          
          Cue national anthem playing softly in the background as a tear rolls down my cheek.
          
          Yes, you heard that right. Didi gave her approval.
          
          From this moment on, this page shall be devoted to daily worship and emotional devotion toward our Supreme Leader @IrisThorn02. Expect:
          
          Poetic praises about her divine writing skills
          
          Dramatic quotes from Withered that leave us in shambles
          
          Wattpad and Instagram tributes
          
          Edits, memes, reviews, love letters — ALL THE THINGS
          
          
          If you're not here to cry over her characters or join us in collective sobbing and chaotic fangirling, please take your leave. This is a holy space now.
          
          We have pledged allegiance.
          
          We have sacrificed our sanity.
          
          We have accepted that peace is overrated — pain is the new peace.
          
          So welcome to the IrisThorn02 Cult™ — sorry, Fanpage. Where we :
          
          Cry in unison
          
          Praise our leader
          
          Defend her like bodyguards in a K-drama
          
          And get emotionally wrecked on schedule
          
          
          Join us. Follow. Read. Comment. Worship. Repeat.
          
          And to Didi — thank you for trusting this emotionally unstable, typo-prone fan with your legacy. I promise to do you proud. And only occasionally cry in your DMs when a new chapter drops.
          
          Long live our literary empress.
          
          Long live @IrisThorn02.
          
          This is her world — we’re just dramatic side characters in it.
          
          Yours in emotional ruin,
          
          Clown-in-Chief, Fanpage Admin,
          
          And the forever loyal subject of the Supreme Leader @IrisThorn02
          
          
          ---

Title : Me? Dramatic? Absolutely.
          
          Currently?
          
          I’m exhausted.
          
          Yeah, Wattpad technically works for me with a VPN, but at this point, using it feels like trying to enter Hogwarts through the kitchen window. It’s tiring. I’m TIRED. The app's like “Try again later,” and I’m like “No babe, I’ll try again in the afterlife.”
          
          And you?
          
          You don’t even read my works.
          
          Not even by accident. Not even out of boredom. My stats are deader than my will to keep going. I keep whispering to myself, “Don't write for fame, write for the passion, the art, the joy,” like I’m some noble tortured artist. That’s how I made it this far. Barely. Emotionally limping.
          
          But now?
          
          I’m just DONE.
          
          Done with the VPN drama.
          
          Done with Wattpad’s mood swings.
          
          Done with pouring my heart into stories that get seen by literally three people and a ghost.
          
          Right now, I’ve paused all my hopes and dreams and I’m just reading Die and finished reading Midnight Love by @Mittsu_writers like a loyal little reader who never asks for much, except maybe one functional app and a reader or two who actually stays past chapter 3.
          
          So yeah, this is where I’m at :
          
          I’ll finish reading DIE by @Mittsu_writers.
          
          I’ll emotionally combust.
          
          Then maybe I’ll think about everything else.
          
          Until then, you’re stuck with my continued rants, the occasional book rec, and absolutely no writing updates because—spoiler alert—
          
          I am dead.
          
          That’s all.
          
          Thank you for attending my Ted Talk.
          
          Please validate me. Or don’t. Whatever.

Hey Wattpad fam in India,
          
          So... a lot of us have been wondering what on Earth is going on with Wattpad lately—and honestly? You're not alone.
          
          For the past 6 days, a huge number of users across India haven't been able to access Wattpad at all—no app, no website, no VPN magic. Nada. For some, even VPNs that usually work have thrown in the towel. Like... bro, even the loopholes are tired.
          
          It's frustrating, confusing, and honestly kind of heartbreaking when you just wanna dive into your favorite comfort fic and the app hits you with a loading screen that never ends.
          
          We're really sorry you're going through this. It sucks, especially for those who rely on Wattpad not just for reading but for writing, posting updates, or escaping reality for a few peaceful hours.
          
          Here are a few things you can still try (if you haven’t already):
          
          1. Switch up your network – Sometimes, changing your WiFi to mobile data (or vice versa) can make a difference. Not always, but worth a shot.
          
          
          2. VPN – While some users say VPNs aren't working either, different servers or apps might still help. Test out regions like the US, Canada, or Europe if you can.
          
          
          3. Stay Updated – Keep an eye on Wattpad’s official social media accounts or community threads (Reddit, Discord, Twitter, etc.) for any statements or fixes.
          
          
          
          We know this is more than just an app for many of you—it’s a creative outlet, a safe space, and sometimes even therapy. Your patience through all of this? Absolute legend behavior.
          
          Let’s hope for a quick fix so we can all go back to crying over slow-burns and cliffhangers like normal.
          
          In the meantime—if you need recs, comfort fics, or just someone to rant with about Wattpad withdrawal, we got you.
          
          Stay strong, bookworms.
          
          
          ---

Okay, listen. I’m a Hindi student, alright? And not just the casual namaste, aap kaise ho type—no, no. I speak the shuddh kind. Like the “Munshi Premchand would be proud but also mildly intimidated” kind. And sure, I may not be Premchand, but let me live my fantasy, okay?
          
          But do people let me? NOPE.
          
          I've literally been asked if I crawled out of a praachin kal ka pothi (ancient era’s textbook). One person legit looked at me and went, “Why are you doing your Master's in Hindi?? Are you a ghost from 1947?” Another one called me fishy—like girl, what? Am I a suspicious sushi platter now?
          
          Fine. So I thought maybe I’ll switch things up. Try English. Blend in. Be cool. Sound like I drink iced coffee and say “literally” unnecessarily.
          
          BUT NO.
          
          Even THEN people be like :
          
          “Why do you talk like that in English?”
          
          “Your accent is... interesting.”
          
          “You don’t sound natural.”
          
          One even said I speak like Google Translate had a panic attack.
          
          So now I’m like—
          
          Bitch, do you have a problem with me in every language or is it just a personal vendetta at this point??
          
          Because Hindi? You hate it.
          
          English? You hate that too.
          
          Sis, these are my third and fourth languages. I wasn’t born doing Shakespeare monologues and reciting Kabir ke dohe, okay?
          
          My mother tongue is Sindhi. My second language is Marathi.
          
          Do you even know how hard it is to juggle four languages without mixing them up and accidentally ordering pani puri in English?
          
          And trust me, if I start talking to you in Sindhi or Marathi, you'll be standing there blinking like your brain forgot how to human.
          
          And guess what? You'll probably find a way to hate that too.
          
          So at this point, I might as well speak in interpretive dance and let people guess what I’m saying. Probably the only language no one will insult me for. Yet.
          
          Moral of the story :
          
          No matter what I speak, someone always has a problem.
          
          So next time someone comments, I’m just gonna respond in fluent sarcasm. That’s a language I speak very well.
          
          

I seriously don’t know what kind of ghost keeps haunting Kangana Ranaut on a daily basis…
          
          Every other day, she’s out here declaring Modi ji the avatar of God
          
          And Rahul Gandhi ji? A clown straight out of a circus.
          
          Like… okay, Kangana. We get it.
          
          Your message has been received—loud and overdramatically clear.
          
          Now can we… move on? Or are we doing this every week until elections hit?
          

Hey fam, guess what?
          
          I just dropped brand‑new, Ghibli‑fied covers for my books—eye candy, if I do say so myself. And… crickets. No one even noticed. 
          
          Now I’m over here thinking, “Maybe I should just go the traditional publishing route.”
          
          But then with Wattpad engagement as dead as my will to adult, who’d want to back / finance / invest me? ‍♀️
          
          And yet—I’ve poured my time, brain, energy, and research into these stories.
          
          People always comment, “Your covers are pretty!”
          
          Then they ghost my books like they’re a bad Tinder date.
          
          “Bro, keep your story interesting,” they say.
          Okay… what else can I do?
          
          Researched every trope under the sun
          
          Packed in every twist imaginable
          
          Made covers so cute even Totoro [ a character from My Neighbour Totoro. If you still don't know who Totoro is, just Netflix it ] would swoon
          
          (Reluctantly) joined engagement groups
          
          Stayed active 24/7
          
          Used every hashtag Wattpad will allow
          
          
          And still… nothing. Zip. Zilch.
          
          So, if you spot those new covers floating around—maybe give ‘em a click? Read a chapter? Help a writer out? 
          
          —[Mayuri Kulkarni]
          
          

Let’s Talk About Selective Outrage.
          
          I’m honestly done with these so-called "deshbhakt" speakers.
          
          They’ll scream about nationalism from every mic they get,
          
          preach about questioning everything,
          say “raise your voice,”
          
          “don’t stay silent,”
          
          “speak up.”
          
          But the moment it’s about something real, local, human —
          
          like the Pune Swargate Shivshahi Bus Case—
          crickets.
          
          Total silence.
          
          Where’s the outrage now?
          
          Where’s the "national duty" now?
          
          Or does deshbhakti only count when it’s trending or convenient?
          
          If you’re going to ask others to question everything,
          
          you better be ready to speak on everything too.
          
          Otherwise, don’t hand out moral speeches.
          We’re not listening.
          
          
          ---

If you didn't read the thread previously I had posted : expected of you. Here's the shortened version. 
          
          You’re out here telling me what I can’t write.
          “Don’t write this.” “Don’t write that.” “What about the kids?”
          
          Okay, let’s be real : if your kid is emotionally fragile and you’ve handed them unrestricted internet, that’s on you, not on me.
          
          Yes, I’m a writer—and I absolutely take responsibility for handling sensitive topics with care and purpose. But if I had to calculate every possible reaction to every line, I’d never finish the Chapter 1.
          
          No, I’m not glorifying or romanticizing abuse, trauma, or violence through my stories. I write those themes thoughtfully, because reality is sometimes dark. And if discomfort is part of the story, that’s intentional, not sensational.
          
          Writers aren’t your moral compasses or internet babysitters.
          
          Let artists breathe. Let parents parent.
          
          If you’re worried about content, supervise your reader—don’t demand I shrink my creativity to fit your bubble of “safety.”
          
          I’ll keep writing raw, real, and honest. If that ruffles feathers, so be it—but at least I’m not hiding behind excuses.
          
          Stay dramatic. Stay thoughtful. And most importantly, stay reading.
          
          —Your (tired-but-still-writing) Author.

These Days, Everyone’s a Critic.
          
          And by everyone, I mean everyone with a Wattpad account and a keyboard.
          
          “Don’t write this.”
          
          “Don’t write that.”
          
          “What about the younger audience?”
          
          “What if someone vulnerable reads this?”
          
          Buddy. Sit. Breathe. Listen.
          
          If you already know your child is emotionally sensitive, struggling mentally, or vulnerable in general—
          
          then why are they scrolling freely on Wattpad, Instagram, Tumblr, Twitter, and who knows what else?
          
          Was I the one who handed them your unlocked phone?
          
          Was I the one who gave them uncensored access to the internet?

Question: How is it that everyone likes the exact same thing?
          
          Like seriously—how??
          
          Ask anyone what they love to read and boom :
          "Romance."
          
          And when you dig a little deeper into the romance bit?
          
          It’s the same tropes on repeat:
          
          Mafia boss who apparently also owns half the universe
          
          CEO falling for a clueless intern
          
          Some royal dude with emotional constipation
          
          Slow burn that burns slower than my cooking
          
          Age gap romances that make you wonder about birth years
          
          Forced marriage (because of course)
          
          Grumpy x Sunshine... or Bubbly x Broody, pick your poison
          
          And then—you go read the exact same books based on the same old tropes.
          
          But wait… here comes the plot twist :
          
          You still complain.
          
          “Why don’t authors explore something new?”
          
          HELLO?? We do.
          
          We TRY.
          
          We cry.
          
          We bleed originality.
          
          We suffer in silence while y’all scroll right past our stories to read yet another Mafia x Poor Girl drama.
          
          So next time an author drops something fresh, unique, out-of-the-box — maybe read it?
          
          Or at the very least… don’t ghost it like your ex did to you.
          
          Anyway. That’s my mini rant of the day. Carry on.
          
          With mild frustration and sarcastic love,
          [Mayuri Kulkarni]
          
          
          ---