Karin Fille

Kau adalah abu-abu yg paling kucinta,
          
          Kau bilang, kau ingin aku tumbuh..
          Kau bilang, kau ingin aku sehat..
          Kau bilang, kau ingin aku damai..
          Kau bilang, kau ingin aku bahagia..
          
          Mungkin Tuhan menjawab doamu itu,
          Karena kau adalah abu-abu yang paling menyakitiku pula,
          
          Lewat rasa kecewa yg ku sembunyikan dalam diam,
          Lewat rasa sakit yg kini kuterima mentah-mentah,
          Lewat rasa ikhlas yg mulai menjalar di hatiku,
          Lewat tangis di ujung sembayangku yg tak berhenti.
          
          
          
          -Karin/27Oct25 

Currently playing, White Horse - Taylor Swift 
          
          "I'm gonna find someone someday
          Who might actually treat me well"
          
          
          
          -Karin/27Oct25

Just realized that writing really does healed me,
          Lots of time,
          
          When everything not feels right,
          And you have no one to talk about,
          And no one to hang on,
          
          Oh how I love my writing skills
          
          
          
          -Karin/27Oct25
          

I think, I'll always be that girl,
          
          "I'm still trying everything to get you laughing at me
          I'm still a believer but I don't know why.."
          
          I don't know, is it just kindness?
          I don't know, is it because promise that I can undo?
          I don't know, is it love?
          
          And suddenly I'm staying up,
          It's 3am this morning, again,
          With rain on my pillow,
          Which is weird,
          Cause just yesterday I felt healed from you.
          
          
          
          -Karin/27Oct25

The more I wait, the more I'm getting upset..
          
          It's crazy to feel like you're missing someone who didn't even bother himself to think about you even just a little bit,
          And you can never complain about that,
          Cause you promise yourself,
          To put yourself over everything,
          And over him,
          
          
          
          -Karin/30Jul25

Abu-abu, jalan kita..
          
          Terasa terjal,
          Menyakiti telapak kaki kita sendiri,
          Terlalu berkabut,
          Dengan perasaan yang mengawang yang mulai kabur,
          Badai tak berhenti,
          Seperti katamu hari itu,
          
          Kurasa di depan akan ada tempat singgah,
          Lebih nyaman,
          Lebih tenang,
          Tanpa gangguan,
          Persis seperti yang kamu mau,
          
          Entah itu masih kita atau kamu sendiri,
          Aku pun tak tahu.
          
          
          
          -Karin/25Jul25

I was once loved,
          I was once desirable,
          I was once that dream girl,
          
          But I think I've gone too far,
          Till I forget who really I am,
          
          I was also the girl who's promise herself that she's content with loneliness,
          I was also the girl who's standing alone in the crowd,
          I was also the girl who's cried herself to sleep,
          I was also the girl who's hate pink,
          
          And I also the girl who's promise to keep herself first, over everything.
          
          
          
          -Karin/25Jul25

dia bilang, "kamu kurang tidur lagi hari ini,"
          dalam hati kujawab, "ini sembab habis namgis, bukan kurang tidur"
          
          kau lelah, aku pun tak berbeda.
          
          
          
          -Karin/25Jul25

semuanya terasa berat,
          sayang, kau yakin kita bisa melalui badai ini?
          
          rumah kita mulai roboh,
          hujan ini tak kunjung berhenti,
          aku akan tenggelam, sayang..
          aku akan hancur..
          
          tidakkah kau mendengar petir-petir itu bersambaran?
          tidakkah kau mendengar deras hujan dibalik kaca itu?
          tidakkah kau mendengarku?
          
          aku khawatir sayang,
          aku khawatir Tuhan menjawab doa-doaku,
          aku khawatir bukan kaulah orangnya..
          
          apa yang bisa kulakukan?
          
          
          -Karin/11Okt24

Kini hujan tersisa gerimis,
          Tanpa pelangi,
          
          Berdiri dibalik pintu,
          Tanpa mengetuk,
          Tanpa suara,
          Tertunduk diam,
          
          Apa yang ada dipikirannya sekarang?
          
          Awan membiru,
          Langit bergemuruh,
          Butir hujan mulai runtuh lebih deras,
          Tak sanggup lagi menahan lebih lama,
          
          Masihkah kau sanggup melalui badai ini, sayang?
          
          
          
          -Karin/18Jun24