I am on Wattpad, why am I here? I don't like boy bands or smut...oh right. I am trying to make it big as a writer, and maybe I can get the teenage hive mind to notice me. Wait...should I insult my demographic? 

Somethings to know about me: I am not a teenager but a legal adult, I don't act like a legal adult, I like goblins, I am a goblin, I like smog dogs, I like big dogs, like ever other "quirky"personality I have a caffeine addiction but not the cute kind...more like the "I have a caffeine deficiency at the moment and am likely to rip your head off" kind, I am a pacifist but still like to watch gory anime, I am a politically neutral Christian cuz politics ruined my childhood and both sides suck and you actually can be Christian without being a republican...weird I know, I think love triangles are dumb, glorifying abuse is idiotic, EL James can suck my middle finger (but don't tell my mama I said that), and lastly...this list is long and has poor punctuation...SO I BET I WILL FIT IN HERE JUST FRIGGIN' DANDY-LIKE! 

I need a life...

And a boyfriend...

Or money...

Yes I should get money and pay a hot dude to be my boyfriend...

That theoretical relationship will still be less screwed up that 60% of this website...

Why am I here again?

Oh right, to promote my book?