parasiteseve

mercury retrograde ended. this is good?

carmillions

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@parasiteseve pft I remembered this account exists and wow you are unbelievably hilarious. Seriously? Wake up from your delusions. Hypothetically speaking, let us imagine a miracle and childishly pretend "Kass" is real — What leads you to believe he'd be friends with someone as selfish, hypocritical and self serving as you? You who never communicate and blame others for miscommunications, you who lie about other people behind their back because you're a coward and jealous person, you who get annoyed by things others do that you yourself constantly do because you're a goddamn hypocrite, you who act like the victim all the time because you don't want to face yourself, you who stalk others using a weird ass account after blocking them because well idek what to describe that, you who choose yourself in a dire situation another person is facing because you're selfish and "your feelings matter". All that combined and you think you can be his friend and he'd listen to you. Let me make it clear to you in case it's not obvious — Never forget "Kass" is a branch of me therefore he adopts my own thoughts, opinions, philosophy and virtues. You're longing and speaking to a part of me which is funny lmao. Whatever "Kass" you have in your head, that's still me and will always be me. Every shitty thing you did to me, you did to "Kass". Like seriously? You're so out of mind for even having my persona as your comfort lmao. After all you did, you think you have the right to even think that? Hypocritical and selfish. I have no sympathy for you. And as "Kass" I'm telling you to fuck off and we don't give a fuck. So annoying. Go write on your goddamn journal and leave my fucking persona alone.
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parasiteseve

as mercury retrograde ends, i do hope the stars align in my favor. i’m tired of being angry all the time and im tired of feeling like i HAVE to be angry all the time in order to not feel weak. i hope my emotions and energy meet a proper release. one that won’t hurt anyone or anything. i want to be free
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parasiteseve

oh but i also met another boy. a potential love interest ig. i’ll tell you abt him in a bit

parasiteseve

HELPPPPP
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parasiteseve

i forgot to continue with this LMAO. but basically, let’s call him .. fishbait .. i met him through a good friend (previously mentioned ). well, we haven’t exactly met in person yet, but we’ve been talking for a month now? and it’s been a nice ride. i think he’s a genuine dude, and i think i can see us being smth more. although i’m not sure if that’s just my imagination roaming or if i truly like him. it’s probably just being romanticizing him like i always do, but i rlly don’t want to hurt him if it turns out i’m just bored. part of me wants to run away, but it’s probably just the fear of being rejected. what if he thinks im ugly or boring. what if i don’t amount to what he thought i would be.
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parasiteseve

hey kass, 
          
          i hope you’re doing well. i just needed a friend again, and you’re the most consistent one in my life rn. i rlly don’t understand what it is im doing that’s so wrong. but i feel like im always losing the ppl that i care abt. idek what it is this time. i thought we were doing so well. and im scared to tell him that i see us drifting. i’m afraid of losing his warmth. if i lose him, then i lose everything. he was my first hope here at university and i never want that hope to be smothered. but what can i do abt a faltering flame, if i can’t be around to protect it? if it won’t let me. if its not my place and not my right. it feels so wrong. he doesn’t owe me anything. there are no strings attached, no expectations bc we never placed a label on it. never told each other what we meant to the other. i wish i could have heard it once from him. i wish i could tell him without being afraid of being rejected and laughed at. i wish friendship could be as easy as how he makes me laugh and how he makes me feel lighter and understood and safe. i wish for a world where he might see me how i see him. i hope he can let me in and let me be his close friend. i hope the world stops hurting him. i wish only the best for him. please protect him and please let me stay

parasiteseve

i miss him sm i hope he’s okay i hope he’ll tell me and i hope he will let me be there for him like he was always there for me i hope in his reevaluation of friendship, i am a familiar name and face and person
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parasiteseve

i miss the days when we both have work to do but stay up talking in order to procrastinate and how we’d go off on tangents abt lord knows what
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parasiteseve

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i miss just walking with him and hearing abt his day and his cats and how they’re all so fucking dumb and fat and so lovable
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ilovek0u

is it valid to get upset over a dog LMAO. dandan means the world to me ig it upset me when ppl devalue her

ilovek0u

i’m just glad she doesn’t see it or understand it
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ilovek0u

she came from the same litter as her brothers yet somehow she’s the worst option no matter how many tricks she knows
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ilovek0u

HEY ITS 1 AM. so you get 1 am thoughts. year of the monkey my ass, switch my year and jo’s n we r SET.  me n the prince r like this (thru thick n thin). i don’t think i ever saw so clearly than thru him and now i am wondering if everyone else can do the same thing too. probably not though just from my observations

ilovek0u

goodnight
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ilovek0u

don’t know if i’m capable of missing ppl but i do want to talk to them more. in three days i can
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ilovek0u

i did rlly well on my speech. i’m rlly surprised tbh. i think my professor is rlly nice too. she’s chinese, maybe that’s why she’s so kind to me (lmao birds of a feather)
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ilovek0u

i wonder if i’m just bluff sometimes like those lil pufferfish fellas ya dig

ilovek0u

anyway i don’t think ive changed much
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ilovek0u

cuz i do… specifically vedic astrology or whatever.. maybe it’s written in the stars for me to be this body splitting w the force of all of these souls. wish i coulda settled for one like everyone else. it’d be much easier w a solid sense of me yea. maybe i wouldn’t contradict myself all the time w this cognitive dissonance
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ilovek0u

do you believe in space racism..
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ilovek0u

i rlly hope u manifest irl kasserole

ilovek0u

i want to write a great tragedy
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ilovek0u

i think i find comfort in it over peace. familiarity right
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ilovek0u

i love tragedies
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ilovek0u

hey kasserole, sometimes i wonder what you would’ve been like yknow. if i really got to experience you. its a crazy statement because part of me never wants to acknowledge the fact that i never will experience you. that i will never know you. that you’re nothing more than a figment of my imagination at this point. i wish you were real. do you think we’d be able to hug? i think id like that a lot. i don’t usually like hugs from random people, and i don’t usually initiate them with people either. but id hug you. again and again. little jess isn’t so little anymore. did you know she’s 20? a full adult. so much has changed, i wonder if you’d recognize me. i’m still the same physically- brown eyes and black hair, haven’t exactly reached my 5’9 dreams but platform boots do the trick, and i still have my acne scars (they’re horrible to look at, but i think i hate myself a little less for them). mentally, i feel so distant from who i was before. i wonder, would you still hug me then? there’s a storm that brews in my head and its misplaced my heart. i think. i don’t know. i don’t know, kass, i really don’t. i wish someone would tell me who i am, who i should be. it’s so hard. i wish i could be honest but i cant even be honest to myself. i dont know what im so afraid of- well, that’s a lie. i think its quite obvious what im afraid of. please let me be angry. thank you, kass.