Black_Cherry

Hey can I be in one of your zanvis books? I'm ok if you say no. People hate me so much now because I haven't updated my book....but! I hope we are still friends!

You're getting better at the paragraphing, but the point of view is all over the place.
          You're mixing
          2nd Point Of View - uses you, your
          And
          1st Point Of View - uses I, me, we
          
          It gets kind of confusing. And try to use quotation marks when writing instead of the two backslashes.
          
          And detail it to say things like --
          
          Cherry's eyes widened and her face turned beet red.
          
          --have it correspond to the character's personality too.