kaybugs678

I know all these things that are practically useless, but they mean so much to me.
          I know your favorite color is orange, especially when it's in nature.
          I Know you hate olives, (you completely despise them),
          I know you absolutely love pineapple on pizza and will defend it til you die,
          I know how much you love your brother and only see the good in him.
          I know how you are completely obsessed with pancakes,
          I know that you aren't always grumpy even though it sounds like you are.
          I know that you prefer your alcohol cold,
          That tequila makes you extremely happy.
          I know that you love football so much, and that you pushed yourself too hard one year and hurt yourself really bad.
          I know you wish you could be out on the field this year.
          I know that you hide underneath baggy clothes because you think you weigh too much, even though you aren't.
          I know that you love hot showers,
          I know you love fishing and the river.
           I know that you prefer fishing over swimming.
          I know that you really like spicy food,
          I know you hate brownies because one day you ate too many and you got sick.
          I know that you love you Dad even though he sent always the nicest to you,
          I know you.
          I know you better than I know myself. 
          How am I supposed to move on when I put so much time into trusting you,
          Or when you keep messaging me,
          Or when you say we might get back together, 
          Or when my heart still skips a beat when I hear your name,
          Or see you,
          Or smell your Cologne,
          Or hear your voice....
          Your fucking voice that catches my attention instantly.
          How am I supposed to move on when you are the most beautiful human being I have seen?
          How am I supposed to forget your mesmerizing eyes?
          How am I supposed to forget the way your hand felt in mine?
          How am I supposed to stop loving you....

You came into my life slowly,
          At first it was just a few texts,
          Then it turned into hour long conversations,
          Sometimes we would talk from when we woke up until we fell asleep.
          I had my guard up when I first met you,
          I never thought that anyone would ever want me,
          I thought it was all a joke,
          That you just wanted to be friends,
          But you wanted much more from me.
          You told me you loved me,
          Even though I said I could never feel the same,
          You told me you'd marry me,
          Even though I didn't see myself living for much longer,
          You told me you'd always be there for me,
          Even when I'm depressed.
          But where are you now...
          I showed you parts of me that I have kept hidden,
          I've told you my awful past and all the horrible things that have happened.
          I told you how I got most of my scars and why I try to hide them.
          I opened up to you completely, I say I love you daily, and I try my best to keep you happy.
          I did things I swear I would never do, and now that you have me,
          I feel like you no longer want me...
          But I guess it's okay.
          Because I knew this would happen eventually,
          I knew it was a game.

I changed my mind, "My Bitter Future" will be deleted at Midnight, tonight. 

Sometimes you need to move on in order to change, but for me, it started the other way around.

Hey

Do any of you read my stories? I know they suck..... :(

That "story" means a lot to me, it tells my story of last summer....

IHave seven stories started!
          That's the good news... 
          Bad news? 
          I can't write for crap and I have been working on some of these stories for two years.  

I am very inactive besides reading so if you message me or anything I'm not being rude I'm just really socially awkward. If you ever want me to check out a book or anything I will, but I probably won't reply because of anxiety. I've been trying to work on it.i really have. I'm sorry. 

hi