hey what's up guys i

um

i wanna be an astronaut so bad

誰にも愛されない

taking a break from social media for like a week

Nothing really makes me happy anymore. 

she was only trying to be friends so her friend could get with me hahahahshdhafhahdhahhahahhaha is everything fake?

fuck this! im never gonna find love huh

I think I wanna isolate myself? Like yea it’s not good for me or my hope of having friends but.....I dunno. IDK!! I wish I could talk to someone about it but I’m so internally homophobic I can’t even say the word lesbian! I should have just offed myself in october like I planned to. But now it’s too late. I got too close with some people. Ugh. Can I get into a car crash or something? Can I get hit by a truck? God are you listening? Please, have me game end life. 

I’m sad and confused tho.....like..? Some girl asked out the pretty girl and she says they’re together now but the pretty girl hasn’t confirmed it but she also hasn’t rejected her so?? At first I was a little sad, and then yesterday I was heartbroken and crying, but then when another pretty girl (probably straight) texted me I felt better? dumb gay energy be like.....but now I’m just so confused. Do I not like the pretty girl anymore? But I also kept waking up to see if she replied to my story or texted in group chat that she has a gf. I’m just so sad and confused. 

I give up on trying to get a gf haha. Whatever like I’ll just focus on my studies I guess ‍♀️ but I mean im dumb asl soooo  I LITERALLY FAILED PARCC GET OUTTA HERE STUPID A$$!!!!!!